"I Just Couldn't Do What You Do." The publics misperception of why being a veterinarian can be painfully hard.

I was in a shoe store today. One I have been going to a few times a year for decades. I go there because they have fabulous shoes at affordable prices AND because they have dogs. Resident Shih Tzu's live here. (Not that I care what breed they are. I just love dogs). 

I am a veterinarian. Don't all veterinarians LOVE dogs?! (Well, most do. Another topic for another blog).

The store owner loves her dogs. It is obvious in so many aspects of the visit. There are dog toys strewn about the floor like this is a daycare center. Dog beds hidden under every clothes rack and a hidden home base behind the check out counter. The owner is a tiny little lady with jet black hair who wears clothes that I feel more aptly belong on a spit-fired little Italian godmother residing in central Brooklyn; The kind who knows everyone's business and points her finger, cigarette sidecar on bottom fish-hooked left corner lip, once tightly lines in fire engine red outliner. She is frills with razor edges. And, yet those little coiffed pups make her melt. My Italian grandmother Grandma Magnifico was a lot like this. Trying to look like she's still got it, tight (too tight) black velvet pants, overly shiny sweat jacket attempting to pose as formal dinner attire, not too chatty, always too skeptical of anyone she doesn't know, and yet loves dogs in a manner that almost makes her certifiable. My grandmother would find dogs roaming in Brooklyn, throw a leash over their head and drag them home to safety. In other words she stole them, yet always harshly believing she was providing them all a much better home. 

Back to my shoes..

Each shoe store visit is, and has been, the same. She never remembers me from the last time. I walk in, the dogs run to greet me, I bend down hoping the door has securely closed behind me and I say hello to each of them individually. I ask them, "how are you doing?" "What's new around town? Any new/latest shoe store gossip?" and, "if they have any selections to show me?" I treat them as people. This whole exchange is super vital to my shoe shopping experience, and, they in return spend the rest of  the time I cuddling with me. We are kismet. 

At some point their mom comes over, tells me that I shouldn't feel obligated to pet them, and that she will put them away if I need her to. I remind her they are the reason I come. And, she leaves me to shop.

Today was a snow day. Most of Maryland was closed. When I had to go out for a baby gift I just happened to see she was open. The store was otherwise quiet and empty. Today the conversation met its chapter two.

"Are the dogs bothering you?" As the black one jumped on the couch and sidled up behind me. I was trying on shoes and he wanted to be center stage.

"No, he's helping. We are doing fine."

"Oh, well,,,, if he is let me know." 

"Umm, ok, well, he won't I'm used to dogs all over everything. So, he won't intrude. I have no personal space when it comes to dogs."

I knew it as it left my lips. I said too much. "Yes.", "No.", "Ok." Those are the simple answers I should stick to.

Most vets I know, (I am going to say all but one), will never tell a stranger that they are a veterinarian. The "work-life balance" thing is important to preserve. We don't like being asked for advice. Although I don't mind so much as long I feel people really care about their animals. What I do take offense to is being the arm chair vet-quarterback to the people who think they want help in caring for their pets, but, just want to pass on responsibility. There's a difference between asking for help because you simply don't know, and, shirking responsibility for a pet that is exactly yours to be responsible for. You know the kind; They want to sound like they care so they don't seem like they might be perceived as a shitty person, but not actually go out of their way to do anything about it. That kind. They share their self-admitted stories of neglect, idiotic scenarios, and remind me to go back to my one word answers. Don't know what I am talking about? Let me give some examples of this kind:

    "I have this cat in my yard who keeps having kittens. I don't really want her. DO you know anyone who will come and take her?" I had a subcontractor working on our new clinic renovation, for which he was paid about $70,000 to do, tell me this. I fired him.

    "I had a dog once, she got hit by a car, and, eventually died." Thanks for sharing that one. Let's hope I never meet you again.

    "We had puppies once. They all died. My dad thought it might have been parvo. Or, maybe something got to them, like a snake bite." Umm,,,,

    "You know my vet told me that my dog should be on heartworm prevention. He doesn't really need it, does he?" 

Yes, I get these all the time. Stick to "Yes." "No." "Ok." Feign ignorance. Be a damn closed book for five minutes of your life.

Nope. Not today. Today I confessed, "Well, I have to love animals I am a veterinarian."

She stopped and withdrew her internal stoic stern governess sourpuss face to transition into an inquisitive detective.

"Oh, I could never do what you do. It must be so hard."

Once again I should have just nodded a reply.  A simple; "No" or even throw her a bone, just say "Yes." keep trying on shoes. Why do I have to open my mouth? Instead,, this happened.

"It isn't. I am only the vet to people who love their animals like you do."

Her sourpuss face looked like it bit hard on a lime. Her face collapsed inward. A black hole suction of air left the room, vortexed into her thorax and she left me feeling as if I was a freak.

It took me a few minutes to realize that her idea of "hard" was not my idea of "hard". She believed that every pet was loved like hers. That her rescues (one was) were all just orphans awaiting Daddy Warbucks and happy endings happen. It was the mortality part she defined as "hard" as if that was some aspect of life found only in pet dogs.

No, the hard part is killing pets no one wants. Or killing a pet that has a treatable condition. Or seeing how awful people can be. Suffering, yeah that's hard. Indifference that's harder. She didn't understand a thing I said in my brief two sentences. She 70-ish. What is the point of explaining how hard this job can be? She would have to live it to understand it.

My dog Storm. Rescued 2 years ago by our friends at Animal Rescue Inc minutes before he would have been euthanized. His family had dropped him off at a NC shelter the day before as they evacuated from Hurricane Florence.

No, there isn't one honest vet in the world who will tell you that the dying is the hard part. Life is unfair. Every vet knows that. Cruelty, neglect, abuse, indifference, disposable views of pets that kills you. That's "hard"er than anyone could ever know.

"She's just a barn cat." Apparently there is a breed known as "barn" (aka "outdoor") that requires no veterinary upkeep? (yeah, I never knew that either).

"He was a free puppy." (It's cheaper to get another than fix his vomiting/diarrhea/prolapsed rectum, blah, blah..)

I bought 5 big dog beds at TJ Maxx yesterday, (and when I say BIG, I mean 3ft by 4 ft and about 8 inches thick. They required a palate cart to move). At the check out the girl asked, "how many dogs do you have?" "Three," I replied, "but we have 23 dog beds in the house and a few are 10 years old and impregnated with dog smell no matter how much I try to wash. (How do you wash those big beds?) 

"Wow, that's a lot of dogs." (No, it isn't I thought). How can you afford them?" 

Shoulda shrugged. I didn't. "I'm a vet," fell out.

"Oh, that's such a hard job. I don't know how you do it?" At least she smiled at me with a genuine interest in my answer.

So what do you think? 

Do you agree? Do you think that my job is "hard"? If so, why? I would love to hear your perspective.

I really would love to hear your thoughts. Please share them in a comment below. (Just so you know they have to be approved by me before I post.. the whole FB video rant three years ago left me no choice. Vets can be vicious, just an FYI).

Here's where my head is headed next, and how this topic is related to where my current blog topic lies;

It's truly a matter of perspective. Isn't it?

Here is a FB post I saw today that reinforced the misconceptions of perspectives. It is a fellow vet in a FB page where vets share their vet life experiences.

"I was recently trying to buy a new home. Obviously, I haven’t done this much. Not many people do. I have 7 kids. So, we all went to the house to view it with the sellers realtor because that’s what the seller told me to do. My kids were respectful, took off their shoes but they are loud and excited (who wouldn’t be?). I got home and my husband and I discussed it and then called my own realtor to make an offer on the house. The sellers realtor was very offended that he took the time to show the house and then we chose to use a different realtor to represent us. Looking back, that’s an understandable reaction given the time and patience he took with us on a weekend to be able to work with our schedule and tolerate our noisy bunch. However, he then proceeded to make it extremely difficult to put an offer on the house-not communicating, putting in road blocks and in general being a jerk.

Here’s my point. I did not know enough about that realm to understand my actions were offensive. I apologized and followed all the recommended protocols after I realized my offense and was still given a hard time.

❇️ How often do we do this to our own clients? Do we think badly about them because they don’t know any better? How many times have I said on ER “Why do people expect x,y,z?” when we have not explained the situation thoroughly because we are busy and overworked and frustrated with the industry in general.

❇️ How much of the clients reaction has come from our own inability to show compassion (because, hello, compassion fatigue is a real thing) or explain the process in our industry to yet one more clueless person?

❇️ Is this their fault? Is it ours?

We ABSOLUTELY still have a**hole clients that expect too much and are unreasonable.

But...can we improve our outlook and communication and make some of those borderline pain-in-the-a** interactions maybe be a bit less stressful for everyone involved if we just show some understanding and forgiveness?

Just a thought process I had when faced with the same prejudices in another field."

...from a colleague on Facebook, Dr Jennifer. (Shared with permission). 

The questions keep rolling.. the answers,, well,,,

My kitty Magpie enjoying the sunshine.

Related blogs;

Losing My Beloved Jekyll. He came to me as an 8 week old puppy whose breeder owner had given him so much cow dewormer he prolapsed his rectum (he literally strained so much with the diarrhea it caused him he pooped out his colon). The breeder reasoned it was cheaper to euthanize than treat. He came home with me that day. Two surgeries fixed him.. He was my beloved dog for the rest of his too short life. He died of prostate cancer at 8. See this one too; Coming To Terms With the Death of My Beloved Dog Jekyll. 

The video rant that will mark me forever. And one of the reasons I am who I am. The Impact Of A Rant.

Drugs, Drink, or Die. The Shitty side of being a veterinarian. Here are some of the real cases that I think make my job devastatingly hard.

Giving Up On Loving, The Ultimate Cost Of Grieving A Pet.

Watching People Ruin Their Pets.. When Do You Intervene?

Don't Forget To Put Your Heart Into Every Euthanasia. How being a compassionate vet keeps us alive instead of stealing our ability to care.

The hardest part of being a vet is not being allowed to help those you know you can. This blog here.

If you love pets and want to be a part of a pet loving community that gives back please join me on Pawbly.com. We are looking for pet experts who want to pay compassion forward. Free to use and join.

Learn more about my veterinary clinic at Jarrettsvillevet.com

Or follow us on Facebook. 

YouTube is Krista Magnifico, DVM. Meet my real cases and my real-life responses.

Fourth Of July. Your Pets Idea Of The Apocolypse

We all like happy endings. Unfortunately, life doesn't always hand them to us.

It was a quiet catch up day at home. It is early summer and we have a few monumental projects underway on our old house. Most of our weekends get one weekend day dedicated to renovations. Today was "gut the old kitchen" day. Eight years I have waited to take a sledge hammer to the red grouted hideous horror that was our postage stamp kitchen. The doors were open, the dust, debris, and busted up interior circa 1970 kitchen was headed to its final resting place when around noontime an  unknown truck drove slowly, almost tentatively, down our long drive.

I went out to meet a 'more formal than from around here' guy who cordially asked "if I had seen a dog?"

My heart went out to him immediately.

He was apologizing for interrupting my day and trespassing our demo-zone.

We live in the country down a long forgotten looking drive to keep the Amish gawking tourists out. He, like every other motorist who has driven our drive, thought we were just a farm trail. I walked to his truck to try to ease his concerns and to slow him down so I could gather the information fast enough to be able to help. His stress, fear, and worry were palpable. I have seen this parental worry for an in-danger pet more times than I can count. I have been there, and I empathized completely!.

The celebration of the Fourth of July is the mid-summer kick off marked by loud noises, incredible fireworks displays, heat, humidity, and food. For our pets, and those of us veterinarians who serve them it, symbolizes heat exhaustion, heat stroke, death due to hyperthermia and dehydration, hit by car emergencies, pancreatitis from over indulgence, gastric/intestinal obstructions from ingestion of inappropriate foods and lost pets due to running away from the fear of those loud noises.

The next few blogs are going to focus on these Fourth of July fiasco's that I hope you and your family can avoid by learning from other peoples pet emergency stories.

After a few awkward moments of trying to convince our visitor that we were not upset about his visit, or taking up our time, I was able to collect a few details about his plight.

He introduced himself as Chris and told me that he was visiting his brother with his dog.

"My dog ran away from my brother's house. He lives at the end of the road that is off of your drive. I think that his property is adjacent to yours over the cornfields." Chris said.

"Oh, yes, I know the house." I said, as the crow flies it is about a mile away. "When did he run away?" I asked.

"At about ten a.m. He is an 8 year old male Golden Retriever, he has a collar and tags, and he is micro-chipped." It was a little after noon now.

Thank-god, I thought! A micro-chip is such a relief to have when your pet gets lost. If your pet is found and if that someone tries to find you the microchip is the best way to do this. (Important point, if your pet is micro-chipped have your vet scan for it, check that the number the scanner reads matches the number you have on their records, and call the micro-ship provider to make sure that the information they have is up to date and correct. A micro-chip is only useful if it can find you).

"What is his name?"

"Teddy."

I introduced myself and told him that I would call the local emergency and veterinary clinics to notify them, in case anyone brought in his dog (run-away's do get hit and some people think, erroneously, that if they hit a pet that they will be held financially responsible for this..YOU WILL NOT..but please never leave an injured pet behind)..see my blog on Emergency Kit and Emergency Procedures. Please call for help, or bring an injured pet (if you can do so safely and without further injuring the pet AND without injuring your self), to the nearest emergency clinic. I also told Chris that I would post Teddy on our clinic's Facebook page.

Chris thanked us and drove away saying he was going to keep driving around looking for Teddy.

I made my calls to all of the local clinics and left my number as the contact person.

There are a few big advantages to living in a rural country setting. One is that I know everyone in the small veterinary world around me..I asked every clinic to spread the word and told them I was posting an Amber Alert on our clinics Facebook page, and I asked that they all share it.

Then I hit social media. One of the key factors in catching the Boston Marathon bombers was social media, it is by far the quickest way to spread the word and join massive numbers of people on a common mission.

A few minutes later Teddy's story was being shared by friends, family, clients, and neighbors.

My husband and I got in the Gator and headed into the corn fields, a leash and phone in hand. We traipsed in 4WD through the mud, the brush, the streams, and the fields searching for any sign of a red dog running. We tracked what I imagined to be about a 70 pound dogs' recent foot prints captured in the mud from the just rained on little dirt road that runs between the corn fields, but after two hours and a thousand lashes from the pricker bushes came home empty-leashed.

I texted Chris to see if  he had any luck, but only heard the torment in his down-trodden voice when he said, "Nope, still no sign of him."

At 6 pm I got a text from a good friend who was once our clinics groomer but was now stay at home mom, that another mutual friend of ours, and another old JVC employee now turned Animal Control Officer of our county, saying that she had received a call that someone who had picked up a dog running on Rte 851. State route 851 is our nearest big road..and I say big because people routinely travel this road at 60 plus mph. I immediately called her and got the name and number of the good Samaritan who had picked up the dog to hunt down the first and only lead we had so far on Teddy.

A minute later I was on the phone with Mary. She and her son were traveling in our neck of the woods and saw a red dog running west on 851. They stopped when no one else did, pulled up to him and opened their car door. Teddy jumped right in and they all headed home. Not having a dog of their own at home they stopped at the grocery store to pick up dog food. Mary told me that Teddy was now comfortable on the couch with her husband, and that although they had had plans for the evening she had decided to stay home with him to keep him company. Mary had alerted animal control, but they told her it would be Monday before they could do anything about him. So with a few days ahead of them they had all settled in together.

Mary was so kind, and generous, and she even offered to drive Teddy home. I thanked her and told her that she had likely saved his life. She said that no one else was stopping and that people were speeding around him..she knew she had certainly spared him from being hit.

I called Chris and gave him Mary's information, hoping that her stray was his.

What were the chances of a Golden Retriever on 851 and it not being the same dog? Hopefully, very slim.

Mary called me a few minutes later to say that Teddy was back with his dad. I once again thanked her.

Chris came by our house again to introduce Teddy and to say "Thanks."

We shared Teddy's story over a beer. I offered him a Loose Cannon, (ironically of course), and he offered me a bottle of wine.

It wasn't until now that Chris had the time or valor to admit the whole story to me.

He said that Teddy was at his brother and sister in-laws because his wife and kids were at State college for the day and she didn't trust him with Teddy alone. (Sorry, honey, but all wives who love their pets like kids feel this way). When he and Teddy had gotten to his brothers house he let Teddy out of the car to go down to the pond. A short time later off in the distance someone started firing off a rifle? or cannon? (I had heard it too, I think cannon), and it scared Teddy enough to set him running off into the corn fields.

Once a dog is spooked, and it can be from any abnormal, or loud, or different noise, they will run. Without a leash or a fence big enough to contain them they will go. They will not listen to a command and they will not think through their fear. It is a primal unstoppable fear based response.

The best way to protect your pet from the dangers of the noises that drive pets to run away is to:

1. Keep your pet with you, leashed to you, or in your house, at all times when loud noisy activities are going on.
2. Use a reflective collar to alert motorists should your pet be out at night. 
3. Have your pets information on their collar. I like to embroider my phone number on their collar, so that if a tag falls off the information is still there, but there are also metal plates that can be mounted on a pets collar.
4. Have a tag on the collar with your pet's name, your phone number and "MICROCHIPPED" written on it, if your pet is micro-chipped.
5. Have your pet micro-chipped.
6. Assume your pet will over react to loud noises and be prepared for it. Any gunfire, fireworks, or even overhead airplanes can cause a pet to run. if you hear any loud noises look at your pet. If they are looking scared, perplexed, or anxious get them inside or on a leash immediately.
7. If you are inside and your pet is looking fearful place them in a safe, enclosed, secure space. The smaller the better (most pets feel safer in a small contained area like a cage versus a room). 
8. If they are still feeling overwhelmed by the noises, try to dampen them by placing a blanket over the cage to block out the noise.
9. If your pet is calmer with you then keep them next to you. Don't intensify their fear by baby-talking to them. This will often reinforce their fear. If they think that you are afraid too it will just  compound their insecurity. Be kind and gentle but not afraid.
10. Keep pets away from windows. I have seen dogs jump through a window to run.
11. For any pet that has had an issue with thunderstorms, or fireworks, etc. in the past, once they have a fear then they will likely have it forever. Expect this and prepare for it. Ask your vet for help with dealing with fear based anxiety issues. Most behavioral issues worsen and intensify with time. Expect this and prepare for it on the first occasion.
12. Even with training to try to ease their fears (we call it conditioning) the chance of them over reacting to a threatening stimuli is present. There are things to try that might help. I would encourage you to try them. They include:

• Thundershirt. The Thundershirt is designed to snuggly around your pet like a shirt. These can calm a pet without drugs or training and they are very affordable. I am now using it on my 17 year old dog Savannah. It is helping her anxiety issues.

• Ask your veterinarian for a referral to a behaviorist to help in calming your pets anxiety by getting them more comfortable with it so they do not over react to it. 
• Ask your vet about anxiety medications. If your pet has a growing or worsening list of anxiety issues, or you are having issues with their behavioral changes, please talk to a veterinarian about long term medical therapies. There are many good, affordable, and effective treatments out there. take a leap of faith and try them. For many pets and their families it has made a world of difference. 
• Tagg. A GPS guided pet tracking device that mounts to your dogs collar. You can now follow your dog as they travel. Big brother is watching, and it can find your pet. Although I do not have this device, when Joe and I were trekking around the blackberry bushes getting slashed I was wishing that Teddy had Tagg. 

If you lose your pet start canvasing the area. Knock on every door, ask for help, call the local veterinarians, shelters, animal control, and hit social media. Leave information on your pet including, their age, breed, size, distinguishing marks, collar info, whether micro-chipped and if possible use a recent picture. Everyone may not help, but a few will, and a few can move mountains and make miracles.

If you find a dog that is injured help. You can seek local rescues, veterinarians, and public animal control. Be an advocate. Ask questions, and stay involved. In many cases an injured pet will be taken to an emergency clinic but if no one steps forward on their behalf their fate will be decided by others based on economics and accessibility. How would you feel if your pets fate was in someone else's hands?

If you find a pet that is not injured start asking everyone around the area that you found the pet if they know who's it is? Often a pet has not wandered far from its home. Try to find a safe place to stay with the pet for a few minutes. Their family is hopefully looking for them too, and they will be looking close to where the pet was lost.

If you can house the pet in the interim it takes to find their family you will keep that pet out of a shelter where chance of communicable disease and being lost in the system is appreciably diminished.

Any pet that has been running will likely be hot, tired, and thirsty. Here are some signs of heat exhaustion and intolerance. Signs of heat intolerance

A dog that has been outside in the heat for any amount of time, especially if they are running or fearful, can be at risk of hyperthermia.Death from hyperthermia

Teddy had been in the best hands possible. He was lucky and Chris was so relieved to have him back.

Teddy was reunited by the efforts of many caring people. From the Facebook post I made he was seen by over 6000 people. Many people shared his post, and many people were out looking for him. I am so grateful for their help, and I will work to find a way to have a national Amber Alert system in place to help other people find their missing pets. Until then please keep your pet with you and be proactive. They react with fear and this is the most dangerous time of year for lost pets.

Wishing you and your family a happy and safe Fourth of July!

Teddy and his very relieved dad.

If you have any pet questions, or would like to add anything to this blog please find me @Pawbly, or Pawbly.

I will be writing on intestinal obstruction next,..stay tuned.