I gave myself a little ultimatum last week..I would write the blog about dealing with the days after saying goodbye, then I would close the last chapter and the back cover of the book of Savannah's life and put it on the shelf.
I would walk away with a sense of closure, relief, and move on..
If only life was so easy., But we all know it isn't. Our heart doesn't always listen, or obey, our head.
I have put away all of Savannah's blankets, bedding, rugs, bowls, baby gates, and baby monitors. I have given away all of her clothes, her harnesses, and anything else of any value to another pet in need. Having the daily visual reminders left me feeling as if I was forgetting someone?, something?, somewhere?, and all of the worry that has consumed me for a year flooded back on top of me.
Today, two weeks later, I cleaned out the cupboards of junk pet food, baby food, cat food, soup, and supplements, and medications that I had gotten for her. Two bags of food stuffs and meds to leave at the clinic for some other pet struggling to find anything interesting enough to contemplate prehending and swallowing. Older dogs, sick dogs, and medicated dogs often need a change of pace to be coaxed into eating. Or, maybe her pile will have the possible elusive miracle elixir for another pet suspected of suffering from cognitive dysfunction, sleep arrythmia, infection, pain, anxiety..the list goes on.
Savannah will once again try to help another pet even though she isn't present.
Her reminders might be packed and distributed but the house is still brimming with cards, flowers, and trinkets sent from far and wide. The generous gestures of condolences and sympathies from people who read Savannah's story and were touched enough so to send a card, a basket of flowers, a tiny rose bush, a medallion in silver that reads "Always With You", and some of the most heart felt words of encouragement, sympathy and understanding imaginable.
There are many people to Thank. I wanted to send a special "thanks" to you all..I am grateful from the very bottom of my heart.
On Thursday night I helped a family say goodbye to their beloved German Shepherd. He was the shadow of every step of the last decade of their lives. Mom, dad, and two boys sobbing in desperate grief over saying goodbye to their very ill but still soo stoic and brave dog. Half of the staff told me that they couldn't be present. They knew that dog too well, were too sad to be present, and the tears of two young boys was all too much. I understand. But, someone had to help this dog who clearly was ready to move onto a life without pain and trouble breathing..so I had to help.
As I sat in the room with the family the mom looked at me tears streaming down her face and said, "I told my co-workers that I wasn't sure I could work tomorrow. They laughed at me. That I would need bereavement for my dog."
All I could do was hug her, and tell her that "there are some people who never know what it is to love, and therefore they never understand what it is to grieve."
I know how lucky I am to be surrounded by people who understand. There is great comfort in knowing that I don't have to explain why I am sad, why I feel a sense of loss, and why I need time and space.
I cherish the letters, I will keep them forever. I will use them to help my clients, my staff, and myself. Loving a pet is simply a way to feel less alone..that's what we give to each other..Thank you Savannah, family, and friends for giving me that..
I wanted to share a few letters that I thought might help others;
I am not a client of your vet center but follower of your Facebook site. A friend recommended your site after my dog Miracle passed. I have enjoyed also your blog. You made me smile and cry with all of the adventures. Most of all dear Savannah caught my heart and I cheered for her and prayed.
It is strange how people often question why some people work so hard to extend a good life for a pet.
It comes down to true love.
Most people don't understand it. But both of us do.
Savannah and you were a team and like a soldier you don't leave a member behind. No one could have done a better job.
As I read your goodbye blog my heart broke for you and I cried. All battles do have an end that I know. The battle has been finished but in my eyes you won. She was surrounded by people and animals that loved her. Wren's pictures with tears proved that.
The years of love and memories will carry us until we meet our beloved animals again.
Just let me say - A job well done.
Take care dear lady,
Also from Sharon,
I would hope that in a person's lifetime they get to share their life with an animal. And if you are very lucky one that becomes your best friend. I was lucky to share almost 15years with an extraordinary mix breed dog that was left on the side of the road. We rescued each other.
At her passing Miracle's Touch became alive to help pay forward kindness that we had recieved. Every month part of what had been Mir's monthly medicine cost is still put aside to share with others.
It is with great honor Miracle's Touch would like to donate in Savannah's memory..to your hospital fund to help other animals. She was an amazing animal who reminded me of my dog.
Memories can never be taken away from us. Our hearts will never ever be the same but we were blessed.
|Such a happy girl..|