The Second Round of Denial, Self-Pity.

Take a little stroll through LinkedIn, the Facebook pages of the veterinary management professionals, or, if you have access, take another little peak inside the "secret" pages of Facebook veterinary organizations. The backlash of complaining, sniveling, and nastiness is unsurpassed. The themes all center on a key point. They refer to "a video" or a "divisive rant" but the professionals of these are all circling their wagons, mounting their ammunition, and feeding the frenzy of fear based anger with more palatable axioms like "fatigue", "ethics" and "self righteousness." The war is real.

The anger runs deep and cuts hard. It runs on all sides now. At least for whatever consequences we all face the anger is universal. People are hurt, deeply. They are legitimately scarred. There is, however, NOT a universal responsibility to all sides to acknowledge this. Sure, the vet community at large can shoot the messenger, punish the singular face that brought this into light, but the mob behind the viral video is awake and now they feel acknowledged. The first weeks of the videos backlash included personal attacks to all of my social media, the clinic staff, and a real fear for my personal safety. This last week has become an onslaught of blogs by veterinary professionals feeling sorry for themselves. They are "tired". Well, for the record, are all tired. Let's just give each other that. Except that the other side has been tired for decades. (Who is the other side anymore?) At least you aren't also heartbroken that you were made to feel like an irresponsible, uncaring parent. Or lied to. Or guilt-tripped into paying for something without full disclosure that the same service might be available for a fraction of the cost down the road? Because that might be unethical? We are all tired. Tired of feeling inadequate, uncompensated, and unacknowledged. People put their pets down. We (the whole vet professional community) knew this, we tolerated it, we at worst excused and accepted this, and now we are too tired to say "I'm sorry" and move forward together. It's just another divide we place.

The wave of millions of people who feel that we failed them, (read the comments,, they use stronger words like "lied", "cheated", "killed", "extorted", etc) is real. These are real people. Real clients. People who loved, lost and can't get over it. Stop blaming them, they don't need judgement. They need help and we are responsible for too much of the vitriol to be ganging up, feeding more anger, and fess up.

You aren't tired, your burden is the anger that swells. For some it is self doubt, self reflection, inability to admit you are not perfect and that blind spot is the face of indifference you show the public countered by the mob mentality you show the vet community. You're burdened. The burden makes you feel "tired". The only way to unload the burden is to face it. Acknowledging your role in it by listening to those who feel wronged, accepting your part in it, and offering open ended solutions to resolving it.

Somewhere between both sides lies responsibility to uncover the truth.. maybe the only sincere way to set the burdened consciousness free for both sides. I'm exhausted too. Exhausted from apologizing when no one else can. When no one else will stand up for the people we serve when we disappoint them. Because the hurt goes both ways. And in the middle is the pet. That's the middle. Where the truth lies.

P.S. This blog was posted and pulled last week when a few torch bearing vets missed its point. I have attempted to edit it so as they might better understand it's intent. This, again, is not about you OR me, it is about the pet parents.. stop being such a bunch of egotistical haters, grow up, say you are sorry if you hurt someone. It's what you are teaching your kids to do in times of conflict,, isn't it?

P.S.S If you are such a coward as to leave an anonymous comment I reserve the right to delete it, post it, and/or cut and paste it with your IP address link.

If you have a pet who is the love of your life we want to hear about it. We are here for pet people across the globe. Building a place where information is free, compassion is universal and the pet ALWAYS COMES FIRST. Please join us on Pawbly.com. Open to everyone who loves pets. Dedicated to education, inspiration and empowerment. Because no one is ever alone,,, even if they are "exhausted".

Related articles; No More Blaming and Shaming: What Vets & Pet Parents Need To Understand About Each Other. Vet Billing, Suzanne Cannon.

I am also at Jarrettsville Vet, in Jarrettsville Maryland, where "economic euthanasia" is never a treatment option, and compassion is always free AND readily available.

Also on Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook (where the troll guards are still (sadly) on duty.. ;-) ).

Video here.

Want to know about the costs at Jarrettsville Vet? Look here on our website Jarrettsvillevet.com

Losing "Them" In The Blame Game. Why The Vet Video Rant Was Lost On The Vet Profession Blow Back.

It seems very disturbing that all of the energy of the video from the veterinary side has been focused on;

1. Defending why everything on the emergency side costs what it does. (I would probably use the words "so expensive" but I have to tread lightly and try to not incite any more riots).

2. On me. The attacks have been centered on me. Bullying, lashing out and hurting me. It has been a hard, painful personal attack.

Even between those two the point has been lost. The point of my outrage AND outcry for change was the pet. The patient. No one is talking about them EXCEPT the people who feel betrayed and let down by the veterinary profession (and me?).

This is not about YOU IT IS ABOUT THEM. The center of our profesion. The reason for our diploma. The one being we get up every day, work so hard, and make so little return on our financial, emotional, and deggedly tired investment.. our patients.

This, all of this, is just about them.

Where did they go in the arguing? The defending? The bullying?

They went where they always go.. into the shadows to be at the mercy of the world.

Stop pointing fingers, placing blame, and let's start every single discussion with
"HOW DO WE HELP THEM?"

Not just "how do we do it better?"

But with real, meaningful,  tangible change.

The change is coming. If I have to carry it on my back alone, it will come. For you see, I am never alone. I am still that little girl in the woods seeking companionship in a world I don't quite fit into. I have the animals, my family, and now a ground swell of support from a place I never knew needed me.. the whole pet loving world.

It isn't that hard to find the compassion. Every single one of the vets who spoke out has it.. It just needs to be the first voice they listen to.. Let it guide you. Move mountains, be brave, and remember every one before us did it with less. Less fancy equipment, less skill, less overhead, and just as much compassionate dedication.

I am here. As I always have been. Trying to keep on trying. Never giving up on a case I think I might just be able to influence in a more positive direction. I hope the rest of the vet community, and pet loving world joins me.

As always, "if you ever have to chose between being right and being kind, chose kind".

Krista