Top 10 Mistakes New Pet Parents Make

If only we could learn from the mistakes of others...? How many of us would avoid painful life halting mistakes? There isn't a single one of us that hasn't sat shotgun watching a beloved family member, friend, or even marginal acquaintance make some tragic mistake that changes the trajectory of their lives indelibly for decades to follow.

Some of those mistakes even end up being fatal...

• The text that had to be answered on the interstate while behind the wheel.
• The late night celebratory ride home after a few too many that didn't include a taxi or Uber. 
• The poorly socialized large breed dog who landed in the wrong house, with the wrong owner after being purchased on impulse because the photo online made them feel more "manly" about themselves, bites out of fear or anxiety,, and ends up getting a one way trip to the shelter.. This happens at least once a year at the clinic.
• The cat who gets sentenced to solitary confinement because her pleas for help and/or peeing outside the box (which is after all always a plea for help) cause disdain to the already overburdened over stressed family who is hard pressed to find time to do anything other than add food to the bowl once a week. This happens weekly,, these poor misunderstood neglected cats! (Please, please call me,, or go to Pawbly.com, we can help)

The list is long, varied, and painful for every family member involved... but every single one could have?, might have? should have been able to be avoided.. with a little advice from your friends or the experts who want so desperately to never see another tragic mistake repeated.

For those of us in the exam room of the veterinary clinic for 8 hours of every day you learn that people are destined to repeat others mistakes. Perhaps it is the balance to keep nature from over populating? Some sick form of Darwin's Law maintaining a balance? It is still, however, frustrating to the point of feeling like you are caught in Groundhog Day meets Edge Of Tomorrow. It is a sickening cyclic chasm of repetition that causes you to either sit down and compile them into a list for the near futile desperate hope that someone will take pause, OR, you become blind, deaf, mute and indifferent. (God give me the strength to not become indifferent).

Madelaine,, one of my dearest friends

Here is my list of the Top Ten Mistakes That I See New Pet Parents Making,,, over and over again;

1. Not being prepared for your life to change. Your life is going to change. You have another life dependent on your ability to provide love, support, encouragement, training, and happiness. Adopting a pet requires time, patience, love, sharing of the care they need to thrive and financial resources. Your life is going to change for the better!! Be the parent your pet needs you to be.

Amanda, River and Rosie

2. Not understanding this is a living being who will need you, your wallet, and will have stumbles along the way. I am eternally perplexed by clients who happily spend many hundreds of dollars on that cute face in a window or internet ad then fly half a country away to pick up their 8 week old baby, and then tell me they don't have enough money left for preventatives, microchip, or spay/neuter? The adoption fee is often the cheapest part.

Ouch!

Not a quick or cheap fix here,, 

3. Not making a designated pet place and allocating enough time. Pets, especially puppies, need lots and lots of time. They need time before you leave for work, (I suggest at least an hour), time after you get home from work (I suggest at least two hours), and they need to get out of the house for training, socializing and general sticking their nose, face, feet and whole body in the dirt/grass (at least 6 hours on the weekends). They need to be a dog. Your cat needs emotional and intellectual stimuli outside of a couch and litter box. They need play, long naps on laps with constant petting, catnip toys, etc. AND both need a proportional allocation of your home to the amount of time they spend in it. For example; if you live in a 1,000 sq ft home with your dog/cat they should get at least 100 sq ft of dedicated space for what they want and need. For my home with two dogs and four felines this includes their own litter boxes in their own spaces. They each have their own room/area and their own stuff there (litter box, food, water, bed). Some like raised beds in windows, others like the bed in the flower boxes, and Jitterbug prefers the giant dog bed they are now unable to even get near. She has claimed it and the cats rule this roost (it is always safer for the cats to be in charge. The dogs are not allowed to challenge them). To all of the clients who tell me that they "don't want their cat on the tables or counter top, etc." I remind them that their cat is a little fierce predator under that purr. They want to be where we are. They want to perch from a vantage point and you NEVER, EVER, reprimand or discipline a cat. You can try to silently discourage by covering the area with things like tin foil or hard plastic (but, cats will pee on plastic, remember what the litter box is made of?), so you need to pick your battle carefully and provide a compromise. If you don't want them on the table/counter top you need to add cat shelves to these rooms. That's a compromise. Not banishing them to the areas you aren't in,, like a spare bedroom or scary gross basement.

Wren at the cat food bar

The long walk from food to heated bed

Arrival; heated bed

Magpie the sentinel

Coot gets the best seat in the house

4. Not knowing how to love on their terms. Having a companion is NOT ABOUT YOU! Don't get a pet to accessorize or complete your life. Too many "cute" pets are dressed, shoved into bags, smuggled as therapy pets to vacations far away, or asked to ride in a side car on a speeding motor cycle on the highway. They have their own needs and you have to understand, support and provide for this. Cats need to feel the world. They are compelled to give it a graffiti tag of ownership, and they need to be active. Most people don't get a cat and expect for them to be active.. Dogs need stuff that stinks of life.. dirt, sand, sticks, and to be the wolf of their forefathers,,, at least in their minds eye. That's loving a pet. Giving them (safely of course!) what they want and need, even if you don't want a dirty dog, a shredded chair and a life surrounded by organic materials.

Jitterbug gets what he wants,, Jekyll has to put up with him

5. Not being educated on your pets breed, needs, and behaviors. If you want to buy a car, shoes, house, or even vegetables based on how they look in the package that's fine. Don't buy, adopt, or steal a pet based on the way they "look". A German Shepherd, Border Collie, Cane Corso or Rottweiler (the list includes every single breed) can be a deadly weapon in the hands of the wrong (often well-intentioned) people. "Cute" and "designer" are not in your pets best interests. A brachycephalic dog or cat that can't breathe or maintain a healthy skin due to excessive folds, or is blind because we wanted a "cool, unique" color coat is not compatible with ideal health status IS irresponsible and a poor excuse to build your own self-esteem.

Attack!

6. Not seeing life from their vantage point or standing in their paws. Your cat is probably bored to tears (and perhaps subsequently peeing in inappropriate places) almost all of the time. Can you imagine sitting under the same roof day after day? The same food, the same expectations,, ugh.. bleck! spice up life. Add catnip, cat scratching mats, or start walking (have I expressed how much I love harness walking cats?). Your dog barks at strangers walking by because they live in their home and their job is to alert the family. (Never yell at them for doing their job). That's all they have; this little home to protect and serve. They dig, shred, play and get into stuff because they have excess energy (those dogs eating toys needing emergency foreign body surgery chew, and swallow, because they are bored) OR, you forgot to let others into their lives and now they cannot function without you. There is a happy medium between too much love and attention AND too much dependency on each other (separation anxiety starts here).

River keeps her eye on the treat

7. Not sharing the joy of being a parent. How do people who have never had a pet before learn about the joys of being a pet parent? Through friends and family. Share the joy that your pet brings. Where do I see the biggest obstacles? Men who are in relationships with cat women. (OK, I know not PC, but, you get honesty with this blog!) The number of relationships that come with "get rid of the cat" ultimatums is staggering. If your boyfriend makes you chose your family over them just dump them. Immediately. They aren't worth the sacrifice.. and what are you going to do if the list gets longer? What about when they dump you because their other girlfriend gave them an ultimatum to get rid of you? (Footnote; the only person who doesn't like a cat is the one who doesn't know AND understand a cat).

Happy snow day!

8. Not socializing early enough and thoroughly enough. Every puppy should be touched by at least a hundred people BEFORE 8 weeks of age. I have abandoned the old ideology that we don't encourage social interaction until your pet is fully vaccinated... we exchanged a protected pet for a happy well-balanced pet. Get out there and play with the world. (Please have your pet micro chipped at 8 weeks! and scrutinize the people you play with. No sick pets, no day care, and no dropping off at hospitals, shelters or rescues. Keep them in safe, clean, disease free places).

9. Not raising an independent responsible member of society. Those selfish paranoid doomsdayers who keep vicious guard dogs trained to display aggression, with beatings and harsh words have bred dogs who will be shot the moment they get loose, injure a human, or the junk yard closes. This might be an extreme example, but about 50% of the docile friendly 8 week old puppies that I see a year later have become cowering, fearful anxiety ridden beings. Now I realize that they haven't seen me in a while, (which I would love to change with more frequent "happy visits" just to get a treat and a snuggle), but it is much more difficult to retrain a fearful dog than to always keep them in your inside AND outside of the home life happily sharing all aspects of it. Take your pets everywhere you can (safely, NO LEAVING THEM IN CARS!). Your pet needs to exist within the confines of society. They have to be stable, confident and able to deal with life outside and away from you. That is your job; to raise a being able to move on and thrive without you. People die, things change, your pets life should never depend on these. They need constant exposure to help them understand the society we live in. Should you not be here to take care of them and they end up in a shelter the pets who love people are far more likely to get a second chance adoption. I love my pets more than almost anything in life. They have a back up plan for the time I can no longer care for them. I have a small army of people to take over (with written instructions ;-) about what they need and like). They will go on after I can no longer do so. They are a part of my life and legacy. To provide them the best chance of flourishing without me I have to expose them to life, other people and they need to know what love is so that they can provide it to their next family without fear, apprehension or contempt. Pets are far better at moving on than we give them credit for.

Rescue life

This idea of euthanizing them so that they can spend eternity with you is selfish. I have seen dozens of pets go on to new homes they love and are happy in. It happens all the time. I have never seen one be sad, upset or even unable to adapt to a new life. My family can go on without me.. I want them to with all of the life skills a good parent prepares us for.

Molly and her second chance

10 Not knowing who to get advice from and not getting help early enough. Feeding, vaccinating, and taking advice from the kid at the gourmet pet store, the tv commercials, the Facebook ads, the breeder, or the flyer from the feed store, all has enormous potential to be bad advice from a biased, partially knowledgeable person AND it can do more harm than good. All pet questions start at the vets office (OK I am biased), but, I get crazed by the gourmet dog food store owner giving medical advice for diet, ears, skin, and behavior.. etc, etc.. If they could be sued for practicing medicine without a license I would encourage my clients to do so.. Or at least submit their medical bills for reimbursement. A problem that sits, simmers, or grows and worsens is always harder to manage after months of bad and/or inappropriate advice. If your pet needs help you can find me, and a whole bunch of very credible pet experts for free at Pawbly.com. (Be prepared to be given advice about seeing your vet. They are your pets best advocate and adviser!).

Mack, minus the two foot long string toy I removed a few hours earlier.

As always JVC, and I, are here to help you and your pet. If you would like to meet the amazing staff and hear more about the ways that we can help you and your pet live longer happier and healthier lives we would be happy to show you how the face of veterinary medicine and the care we provide can ext end past the traditional options of hope and luck. Please also follow our amazing Facebook page JarrettsvilleVet. Or find our 2017 Jarrettsville Vet Price List here.

If you would like to learn more about pet care or ask a free pet related question please visit Pawbly.com. It is free to use and open to all of those who love pets.

If you want to help others and you have experience with pet care please join us on Pawbly.com. Pet care is about helping others and we are built on this alone. I also have educational videos on YouTube, or @FreePetAdvice.

And, of course, we hope that you will Please Always Be Kind.

Conditioning for a Socially Acceptable Canine Citizen

Every new pet visit I have is met with hugs, kisses, greetings, salutations, snuggles, and a long long list of questions.

The first appointment sets the stage for every visit to come. If your pet is happy with us, if we can figure out a way to make the appointment fun, engaging, informative and supportive then we have succeeded on every level.

My hope, as your vet, is that you will always feel comfortable understanding all of the aspects of your pets care, and if you are ever unsure that you will know we are a safe and supportive place to seek out the answers to your questions.

It's not a small task for a first appointment; to win your heart and your trust. Especially in light of the great deal of ground there is to cover.

At the clinic we use written literature, magnets, email, business cards, props, and anything else we can think of to provide you with all of the tools to raise a happy healthy pet. But we aren't trying to keep just your pet happy we are also trying to keep our clients happy. Behavioral problems are one of the biggest reasons pets are surrendered to shelters.

All vets develop their sixth sense by observation, practice and hard learned lessons. We listen very carefully for the hidden clues, the subtle innuendos and the first hint at a sign of the dreaded "behavioral issue(s)" territory. Most behavior issues stem from lack of socialization, appropriate conditioning and positive reinforcement.

Max

I saw the following list in a past issue of Dogfancy. The article was specifically addressing socialization. I often group socialization and conditioning together because it is hard to teach one without the other and your pet needs to learn both. I ALWAYS recommend addressing both through only one method; positive reinforcement.

At the clinic we provide our new pet clients with many "How-To" instructions and advice. I say 'pet' here, but in almost all cases I am really targeting the puppies. I am conditioning myself to say 'pet' because a few weeks ago I was reviewing the How-To list with a client who had just adopted her first dog (ever). I reviewed all of the How-To's and told her that I would write them all down so that she, (and now you), could have an online reference to review. (I thought it was a brilliant idea!) She could have a review sheet at her finger tips to help reinforce the litany of information that I had just dumped on her, and I would have a ready reference for the public! (Pure genius!) At her next appointment we started to review the how-to topics that we had discussed at the previous visit. We had discussed all of the puppy basics like housebreaking, leash walking, training, and puppy vet visits. When I asked her "how the house breaking was going?" she reluctantly said that "she was about 50% housebroken." When I asked her if she "had reviewed all of the how-to's I had written up and posted?" she replied assertively, "No, they were for puppies, Tinkerbelle is a one year old." (Not so genius am I?)

I smiled and paused. "Well, I know that she isn't a puppy, but she has never been housebroken so we have to train her to become housebroken. (I thought that the title "How to Housebreak Your Puppy" was pretty self-explanatory. Silly me for being so specific). Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Well, I am conditioning this old dog to say 'pet' and not "puppy'. I call every dog a puppy, who uses 'Miss', Madam' or 'Ma'am' anymore? (I'm not that old!). There is no such thing as too late to start, nor is the old adage about "teaching an old dog new tricks" true.

Here is Dogfancy's list of items that dog parents should use to help expose their pup to in order to help them develop into a socially responsible pup:

• All types of people
• Bags
• Balloons
• Bikes and motorcycles
• Cars, trucks, and buses
• Children of different ages
• Crowds
• Delivery people
• Grooming equipment
• Other dogs and puppies
• People in uniform
• People using walkers or wheelchairs
• Sand
• Shallow water
• Strollers
• Thunder
• Umbrellas
• Vacuum cleaners

Max

Here's what I would add;

The foundation of  this advice is for you to understand and acknowledge your expectations for both you AND your companion. 

I seriously doubt many (or any of my readers) are raising guard dogs, or personal protection pups. Therefore, I am only providing advice for raising a dog that you DO want to like other people. Your best bet to raising a pup that loves other people and is happy in the world we all live in is to carry your pup with you everywhere that you (safely) can. Through this one simple act your pup will bond to you, trust you, and learn to deal with the same world that you and I do. Now, this piece of advice comes with a list a few important caveats.. (Listed at the end, care of the marginally pessimistic, overly schooled by lessons learned the hard way, veterinarian).

Bellza

The single best way to address the world and all of the scary unknowns it envelops is to get out there and immerse yourself smartly in it.

If you brush your teeth in the morning then you should be brushing theirs to. When you feed yourself on a daily schedule you feed your pet (twice a day for dogs, three times for humans)  on another daily schedule. Exercise is a daily requirement  for all living beings. Sitting in parked cars is not safe for anyone. If you can't bring your pet to the store they stay home.

I follow my own advice. My pups come to work with me everyday. It is a daily conditioning to be a friend to all human beings. It is also a daily training exercise in tolerating other cats and dogs. Hard as it is for my bossy pittie-bull pup Charleston to be the unprejudiced jovial friend that his brother the beagle Jekyll is, he still 5 years later attempts to incite quarrels with most larger dogs. It is who he is. I know that I have to keep him on a short leash and remind him daily to accept others and not be a bully. I therefore do not take him into large crowds of dogs where I can not watch him adequately. He is comfortable around other dogs, but I must always give a conscious effort to slowly introduce him to new dogs. We provide him exercise daily but don't bring him to the Pet Expos, the dog parks, or the Petsmarts. If I could carry him in a bag I might..(he is 50 pounds), but I  cannot, so he stays out of situations that are not appropriate for him. I know my dogs because I understand them. I know that Jekyll will always see the world through rose colored glasses. He will always love every person he meets, and he will never refuse candy from a stranger. I keep him close because he cannot see the world for the dangers it holds. Charleston wears his heart on his sleeve. A tiny scold will break his heart, but he is also the kid who steals other children's milk money behind the lockers. He is a brat and a bully to other dogs. If he meets another dog who wants in on the action he will pop a cheap shot if your back is turned. But around people he is a love. I am never going to change the beings that they are. It would not be fair to ask them to change the fabric of their soul. But I am responsible for them so I watch them closely and introduce them to the world we live in cautiously and optimistically. I'm their parent if I don't believe in them who will?

Jekyll and Charleston

This whole surge in falsifying identities and 'service dog' vest adornment so that people can take their pets on planes, in restaurants and in hotel rooms is as ripe for disaster as it is ripe for abuse. Your pets don't need to sit next to you in the restaurant begging for a steak that isn't appropriate for them anyway. Leaving your dog in a car for any period of time, so that you can perform any menial task is just life-threatening and unnecessary. Don't do it. I'm sure no one does it on purpose; kill their pet via hyperthermia, but yet it happens every single year. Your pet is yours to protect, to provide for, and to be responsible for. You are a parent. Guide them, love them, and create a loving enriching environment with the intent of them being able to survive and thrive without you. They are not your identity, your reason, nor your crutch. They are their own person in the world that is not always kind, not always accepting, and not always shared with you.

I am also a doctor. I know disease lurks in the places of congregating canines. My pets are current on vaccines, protected against parasites, and not kept with the general population of my patients. I often work 12 hours a day which is too long for them to be left alone. They are no longer invited to our summer parties where one year my beagle ate her weight in Italian sausages which almost killed her. At another summer party Charleston caught the fish on the end of the fishing pole. Thankfully there were 4 vets (of course all female) present to sedate him and remove his fish hook while the husbands stood by weak kneed and useless.

Pepper, Peanutty, and Bella

There is little value in playing the blame game, but, the responsibility clause is as follows;
There is not one dog bite, dog attack, dog fight, or behavior issue that was not preventable nor came with a long list of predicating clues.

The first time there is an indication of a problem is the time to seek help. Start with your vet. There will be more issues in the future and you are probably (yes, unknowingly and inadvertently) contributing to the problem.

Your efforts to reduce the triggers, avoid the altercation scenarios and adjust your lifestyle to avoid another incident are ALL CONTRIBUTING AND REINFORCING THE PROBLEM.

You get out what you put in. A very simple equation that fits. If you can provide consistent affection, direction, and parenting you can raise a socially responsible companion. It is your duty as a parent, and the reward is well worth the time and effort invested.

Rebel

Lack of socialization at the earliest age, or first opportunity, is the beginning of a lifetime of behavioral social, and, often also, medical issues.

Oh, and lastly build a strong support system around them. Pet sitters, groomers, grandparents, siblings, and your vet. It will serve you both well for the lifetime of wonderful memories ahead.

Life is good.

If you have a pet question, or pet experience/advice that you think might benefit others please join us on Pawbly.com. Pawbly is a place to support, encourage, and strengthen the bonds between us human and our companions. 

If you would like to visit me at the clinic stop by Jarrettsville Vet, in Harford County Maryland. Or, find me on Twitter @FreePetAdvice.