My Christmas Wish

Some people are just building a body of work. The getting up day after day to repeat the same tasks for the same boss. Punching the same clock. A small cog in a bigger wheel that they cannot identify their own importance, or the meaning of it, within. Day, after day. Weeks on end, until at some point you realize that the novel within you lacks a central character you can relate to, or, even root for. There is that someday where you realize that there is more behind you than in front, and you are at the intersection of what's left to do, vs., what is left that you want to do?

Others are just trying to find work. Find someplace to pay the bills and disregard the purpose, the passion, the place of belonging that maybe a job can bring. 

Sadie.
The most influential patient of my veterinary career.

Then there’s me; plodding along trying to build an empire. Filling my days with little wet-nosed lives that have already given so much. Filling my life with the people of Jarrettsville Vet who share this passion and purpose and expanding upon them, so that it touches everybody in our community from its core. I am also trying to convince the rest of my profession to feel the power and the addiction in the purpose we all came here seeking. Ask yourself if you became the Ebenezer when not so long ago you just wanted to help the Tiny Tim?

Every year at this time my husband asks me what I want for Christmas. I'm 5 decades into this passage, and I can say with 100% honesty that it's not wishing or wanting more. I simply feel so grateful and lucky for what I already have. Right here and now, this is it. I worked my whole life to get here. I am not waiting until retirement to live. Or go out and live. It's within everyday already. As far as the season of giving,, well, I just tell him; I don't want one more thing, that is a thing.  Nothing. Not one smidgen of a particle of an article that was intended to be gifted. Not one more thing to dust, to pass on, to leave behind, or, wonder how much of a carbon footprint it carries?

The wealth of love

This year the wish is to pay everything forward. All of the intangible things that spread peace, joy and kindness. Veterinarians, the whole lot of us in vetmed, forget, overlook, under appreciate how impactful and meaningful the power of kindness and compassion is. These don't cost any of us anything. These change lives exponentially. They hold more power than our diagnostics, injections, and medications. These save more lives than all of the tools in our medicine locker do. 

Now, I am not a person who lives in a tiny, shabby, debilitated make-shift hut. I have not come to the place where I shun all belongings. Meditate in a trance-like chant to find a higher inner awareness seeking permission elsewhere. I have traveled the world and seen far too many families suffering in poverty, corruption, greed and desperation. Living in a home constructed out of piled wooden shipping crates. Or, an assemblages of tarps. Rooms partitioned by shower curtains. Dirt floors, no provisions to allow for windows utilizing a portable camping stove with its assigned two pots forced to feed 5 or more mouths. Homes that wouldn't pass for junk are required to be the shelter for the heart of its inhabitants. I have heat, insulation, cable tv, food in the fridge, a pool, and the happiest, spoiled, blissfully unaware pets. There are rugs underfoot. Artwork on every wall. Bins of rotating holiday decor to embellish the upholstered furniture. It is a rich life. There is excess here. I admit it, and I am eternally grateful. For as long as it might last. Wealth, all of it, in all of its many forms, is fleeting and fragile. Wealth that is tangible, liquid, asset-based, is transient.

River, who is as excited to see me as I am her.
She, and her mom, are some of my dearest friends.

Yesterday on the NYC subway a middle aged heavily sweat-shirted man broadcasted that this year he was asking for generosity. He had lost family in the 911 massacre. He had served in the Army. He was suffering from PTSD, on the streets, and begging for food. A man next to him quietly and shyly handed him a burger-sized, wax paper wrapped sandwich. "My wife made this for me. I hope it helps." That simple, impromptu, two second exchange made everyone on the train smile. It was accepted with gratitude and a firm handshake of "thank-you Man." The train stopped not one second later and we all got off feeling like a little bit of the holiday season happened with all of us to witness. 

That is my wish. Pass on a small act of kindness. Avoid the door-busters. The stocking stuffers. The swag, and the stuff, and the things. Take great joy in what is already around you. The life you have built. The people you share it with. Think about how rich you already are. Want for nothing more than the possibility of this being all there is left to do and still being the most blessed person you could ever be. 

Autumn and I stealing a snuggle and a kiss with Otis.
He was at the clinic for his first puppy visit.
How many others do this on routine appointments? Why not?

This year I hope that I can refuse all the gifts. My hope is that I can convince others that there is nothing more to accumulate. I want nothing other than paying it forward. Is it possible to keep paying it forward until there is no one left who still can't recognize the treasures underfoot. I hope that they still give of themselves to enrich someone else's life and that they feel that the gesture pays back 10 fold over in return. Wealth in the truest form of pandemic proportions.

This year, as one fades into a new, Jarrettsville Vet is going to take on a new challenge. We are going to empower ourselves, every staff member, to find that sense of financial freedom and the independence it brings so that maybe by the time they all hit the same number of tree rings that I have they feel just satiated gratitude irrespective of Santa denoting you naughty or nice. You never have freedom unless you have this. It doesn't have to be millions. It only has to be enough to keep you from making choices based on the influence of need. It is why I feel so strongly that the debt we carry denies us the ethical integrity to put our patients first in every decision we make.

Sadie. Captivated by the temptation of another treat.

Nothing matters more than having the freedom to make your own choices. The sense of being healthy enough to pick your own path. Even if no one else wants to emulate or follow. The passion of your purpose to make other lives better, and the financial freedom to never feel you have to sacrifice any of these to etch out your own survival. Veterinarians forget that they hold such power. The power to bend lives, influence, albeit determine survival and outcomes of the lives those companions hold together. I never lose sight of this. I never deny hope, or miracles, or chances, or financial freedom for this to determine fate almost more than any other influence. Of all of the callings that going to vet school answered for me, it was this one reason more than any of the others. I think that lots of vets go to vet school because of the impenetrable bond we have with animals. Me, well, I was never going to surrender the power of protecting my beloved pets to not being able to afford to get them well, or at least try. I was never going to be stuck, trapped, tortured in not being able to keep them safe, healthy, and pain-free. Some women stay in relationships for all sorts of victimizable reasons. Me, I can give up everything else in this world, but, I will never lose the peace of mind that I never have to let go unless there is nothing else that can be done. That is power. That is what being rich beyond compare brings you. That is a Christmas wish that has nothing to do with things. That's the gift I want to give back. That is when you change lives.

Storm. Rescue,, a dobie with ears and a tail!
She is the cutest!

What is your holiday wish this year? What are your New Year goals? How much of them just rely on giving vs getting, and why?

Oh, and let's not forget,,, go adopt a life. Start 2024 with the most incredible way to pay anything forward. Go save someone. Foster, adopt, read a book to the shelter animals. Take them for a walk. Come to Jarrettsville Vet with your whole heart on your sleeve and just give.