The Train Wreck and the Captain

The cops came by for a visit last night.

The example in real-life of how to handle an unmanageable escalating crisis when words have failed you.

People are so much like the pets we take care of. You can tell the ones that are going to be the problems, heck even the ones who are outright dangerous, if you stick around long enough and use your Spidey-sense acutely enough times.

We have a few pets who just aren't their best selves when they get stressed or overwhelmed. In the people world I can use the recent example I had on a commuter train from NYC to my hometown station of Lancaster Pa. Just outside of Philadelphia at about 5 pm the train came to a stop. Shortly thereafter the announcement came over that there was "a trespasser struck on the tracks" and the train would be stopped until further notice. Oddly, (although this is my life so I dare not say coincidentally) this had happened to me a few months before. The train had stayed paralyzed for 3 hours. I was with two friends, we were all seated together, and I passed this along to them. We commented and giggled about how smart we had been to pack goodies from our weekend trip and settled in with our books, tarts and trashy Netflix series. The hours passed. No news of relief came. 

Sometime after about 8 the announcement notified us that another train would meet us and we would switch over to them. It was dark and trains are trains. Visions of cowboys, Indians, and stowaway-runaways started to swirl. It was a new adventure for the story book of the life and so we kept on idly seated. Mutterings of a train parked next to us began to pass through the car. It was so dark outside that you had to be seated at the window seat and press your head against the glass to make out the dark silhouette. No announcements came so we all stayed seated lost in our own distractions. Half an hour passed and the door to the car in front of us opened. A small young business suited woman walked in. She was holding her phone and announced too loudly that her friend was also on this train, many cars back and the train had already been evacuated. Had any of us been alerted? Her voice was too loud and too panic stricken to process without scrutiny. She didn't understand why we all looked at her blankly and so within seconds she said, "If you all don't get up and start running I am," to which the nerve of panic hit the passengers. Two of us in the car of what must have been about 80 seats stood up and told her to calm down. The staff would come get us and we weren't going to start a stampede to get off a train that was parked god only knows where. 

She didn't like the answer she got. She demanded again that people start heading aft and swiftly.

Again the two of us took charge and this time challenged her with restraint. She was impatient and lacked authority. She is the patient zero of mobs where people are crushed and die. She is not the person you want directing life rafts.

A few minutes later we were directed to start moving and the night was long and a bit harrowing, but we made it home safely.

My two traveling companions this trip were my two surgery technicians. The two girls I rely on more than anyone else to help the patients at my clinic at their absolute most vulnerable and most needy. Many of the patient I take to surgery are scared, stressed, debilitated, and some are even dying. If I don't have a team that can listen, follow, and still be ready to jump into action when they see danger looming our patients will suffer and perhaps expire. We are a team with clear objectives and unique talents, but, we are also aware of each others responsibilities and protect the team as much as we protect the individual. You cannot teach this without living it to reinforce it.

I do see my role, my profession and my life in this light. I am the leader, the fall guy, and the example. 

Last night at the clinic I was called to come and help diffuse an angry client. He was refusing to pay his bill because it was over the estimate provided. To summarize as I have to defend others whose prices are often seen as being exorbitant for vet care, this was a dog who could not be safely handled with a dog bite wound three days old who the owner also wanted to have neutered while under anesthesia to repair the bit wounds. The cost of his invoice was $660. We fit him in as an emergency within hours of his phone call. We kept the dog for half of the day to manage his care safely for everyone involved. We performed an hour long surgery to clean and repair the wound that was half of the dogs back leg, which included a drain and multiple suture packs, and we neutered him (in the hopes it might help avoid another dog fight down the road). 

The estimate provided was too low for the degree of the infection we found when we could safely examine it under anesthesia. He was here at 730 pm (we close at 8 pm) stating it was "our error and therefore he shouldn't have to pay for it." To add fuel to this he was driving a Cadillac that was about the same size as the train car I refer to above that was brand new, and stated that he's a lawyer. He was so rude that the techs had to call me after he "excused" them for talking to him about our mistake.

I met him in the reception area with the itemized invoice in hand. I attempted to discuss the definition of estimate and the degree of unknown findings that every surgery can bring. He interrupted every sentence two words in with lawyer tactics meant to intimidate, bully, and prohibit answers that weren't going in his favor. When I stated that I would not continue until he was willing to let me finish a sentence he began to name call. In the course of our 10 minutes he called me "stupid" "arrogant" "Karen" "liar" "irritating" "annoying" and "holding his dog hostage for payment." I had at least 5 employees behind me listening. After it was apparent things were just going to keep escalating, and I was absolutely intolerant of the name calling, I directed the receptionist 5 feet behind me to dial 911. She looked at me frozen. I guess she thought I was bluffing? 

There have been dozens of staff meetings where we have run through this fire drill before. I wasn't bluffing, and she wasn't dialing. So I picked up the phone and dialed it myself.

Here is my advice for situations like this;

1. You cannot diffuse a bomb, but it is super helpful to recognize that it is ticking in front of you before it goes off.

2. Train your staff to use the chain of command and make sure whoever sits at the top does it willingly and is capable. Vetmed needs more fire drills for these situations..

3. Have witnesses if you think it is safe to do so. I have to admit that when the dispatcher asked me if "I thought he was carrying a weapon?" I had to pause. I replied "I don't know?"

4. The dispatcher asked me if I wanted her to stay on the line until the police arrived. I paused again. The all too empower woman in me never wants to ask for help in holding my hand,, but the inability to foresee the future and the potential train wreck that might happen because of this left me answering very humbly, heart pounding in my throat, "yes, please" in a voice that cracked as the words came out.

5. The "caution" pets have treatment options. Short and long term behavior modification tools that the profession has long been addressing. We can refer to behaviorists and trainers. If we can intervene early enough we can save the victims of bites, attacks and surrenders and euthanasias. People,, yeah,, I think the cops have to deal with too much mental instability outside of their wheelhouse. I am empathetic beyond measure for the situations they are asked to intervene upon. And to the Sherriff last night who was also treated so disrespectfully (and of unknown relevance, was the Black officer, if you can hear this I am sorry for how you were treated, and I applaud (grateful) you kept yourself together. I could see you wanted to pound his face into pudding also).

There are inherent strengths a woman (yes, I am going to go here because I exist here) has. We are super good at keeping our place. I hate this about myself at times. I am just as capable (likely more so in the case of an emergency) and yet I stood there quietly and took his abuse. I have never in my life allowed another person to verbally berate me like this. It is the single part of last night that is not to be forgotten. For this I am glad I had 5-7 women who I take responsibility for watching.

The police arrived and he made sure to intercept them first to give his side of the story only to end up treating them (almost) as poorly as he treated me. I gave him enough rope to hang himself and he took the bait. He told the Sherriff he "needed conflict resolution" training multiple times, and as he was being escorted out of the building, to "stay in his lane" as he ordered him to leave. The girls erupted in stifled giggles to that one. They turned their backs to the door to cheer together.

The night ended at after 9 pm with him paying the low end of the estimate only, (you know to "teach me a lesson)." And me telling him that he was no longer permitted on any of the private property that Jarrettsville Veterinary Center owns and a police report to document it.

I am home this morning reminding my blood pressure that worse things in life will come and I have girls to raise, and, a clinic full of pets to protect so I better get my shit back together before I step foot back at work and try to lead a Calvary again.

P.S. Of the many threats this former client made to me last night they included; social media, YouTube, and community page smear campaigns, along with word of mouth public humiliation. Good Luck to you,, I am sharpening my pen as I drink my coffee and type away.

P.S.S. This is my personal blog, It is entitled appropriately. I often write raw, unedited posts in an effort to shed the burden this life and the difficulties I struggle with airing out. For the horrific statistics vetmed suicide has shed light upon, we really all are struggling to stay alive.