The Cost Of Hope

 Hope. When there is everything, and nothing, there is still hope.

Hope, for me in vetmed, is all of those blocked cats who never see a chance at help
because we may it too expensive.

A long time ago there was a girl who was afraid. Of all of the things she was this one thing dominated. It was what propelled her, crippled her, and reminded her. It was the beast she lay victim to for all of the days. It was the affliction her mother had and her mother before her. It was everything and nothing. It was, and it was what she let it be. 

It was like this for a very long time. A lifetime, and then, a lifetime more. 

Mom in her barn for her first antique sale.
She was beamingly happy, can't you tell?

It took a long time to recognize the part of her she didn’t have to be. She knew that there had to be more to this journey. The one she woke up to everyday to repeat the whole pattern again. But when you carry a beast so big, and so heavy, for so long, it is hard to raise your eyes above it. Maybe fear is the antidote to hope? she thought. And, maybe hope was the cure for her fear? And with that it began; the daily ritual of pulling her bootstraps up and raising her chin above the horizon, just to see if maybe out there somewhere there was another option to her fear. Maybe there was a place she could leave it? Just to rest its weary head for a while. Maybe, it was as tired of her as she was of it? Maybe, they could exist without each other? The shell without the cortex. The cure without the disease. Maybe, if she could grow big enough and strong enough, she could outgrow its need for her, and with all things that persist long enough, her need for it? Maybe? Just maybe?

What happens is that time works its magic on you and you grow comfortable with even the most horrible. You get used to each other to a degree that makes it hard to coexist without each other, even when the other half is a cancer stealing you from yourself. A bad marriage arranged on the most horrific of terms. Life is like that. It will kill you if you let it. Leach you to anemia just to see what the reserve tank has in it. Medicine, the art of molecular life in the grips of another life, the host with its many moving parts all required to work in tandem even when they have opposing agendas, is just like this. A dance, a tango set to a music you cannot always chose. You try to lead but you know the tempo might change and there may be feet stepped on as you tip-toe across the floor. 

Isn’t life like this for all of us? The calculations of actions you make silently within to try to make it through life with as little turmoil, pain, and scarring as possible. At what point do we learn that if you don’t have one side of the coin its impossible to know the other. Maybe with age there is wisdom and the ability to excise the fear so you can live with just the hope?

Outer Banks. Duck

Today is Mother’s Day. The day that we all celebrate the origin of our existence on the double X chromosome in our own DNA. For me, 5/14 is the day my mother died. On this day at 4:14 pm in a little stone house not too far from my own, my mom took her last breath. I say this as it marks a date, impermeable, and in-excisable. The pivot point to which the calendar resets, and a life without another starts. I say this because that day changed so much within me. There is a book to write about her, and her impact upon me. A book that sits waiting for the time and the distance to write it without it eating me up. Consuming me like the fear that swallowed her and kept her trapped within.

Today I remind myself that there is life after another life passes on. I cannot call her gone. She is never gone. She is here all around me reminding me to always have hope. To always see the beauty and the joy in the life that exists even if you have a difficult time seeing through the tears. Today I talk about hope.

Today I opened my eyes before the sun came up. The sky crept from black to the darkest of blue. A grey-washed out kind of blue. Smeared in its blurry shadows. Quiet, heavy, and slumbered with a fog that keeps all of the earth’s tiny souls safe in their beds. The first rays of sunshine wake up the world and to this awakening the first chirp can be heard. It is my time to be alone and feel as if the world will remind me that I am never really solitary. One little chirp. Just a call in the almost-darkness to awaken the rest. I turn on my Merlin app, and start to record. I now know that this tiny rooster call is an American Robin. Maybe being afraid, and trying to replace it with hope is about seeing the bravery in the darkest of places and still singing?

The potting shed. Mom and Diedra's boys

I made a video the other week about all of the clients I see who come to me having to lay their pet to rest after disease, and age, and all of the many afflictions that life can wear you down from. They always ask me the same thing, without fail; they ask, “this must be the hardest thing that you have to do as a veterinarian?” And I always reply the same way… “No. You loved your pet so much that you made them a part of your family. They were loved every moment of their lives. How lucky they are for that, and I know they are so grateful to have been yours.” That is the hope in the face of fear. That is the beauty in the face of death. Maybe losing someone you love is about remembering the hope they brought you every day you were together?

With hope springs gratitude eternal. Is there anything we wouldn’t give for that?

Happy Mother’s Day to you all. (regardless of what your chromosomes or current children roster looks like)..

The first icy drink of Summer. A mojito from our mint patch.
Diedra, mom and me.

And P.S. go out and foster, adopt, and live life with someone else… pets count as kids these days,, so we are all moms here. Maybe there is life outside of the one you are living right now where hope springs eternal? And, maybe its time to go look for it? Let’s all look for hope in the love that reminds us we are all mothers. 

P.S. I write about all of the issues that being me brings. I know that I am not alone and I hope (there's that word again), that others hear me and know that they aren't alone either.

Inspiring My Compulsion

 I often wonder which I am,

how much of the current circumstances dictate one v. the other. And, why I have to allow the compulsion to have such a negative connotation even when I know that they both play off of each other and feed into each other. 

My kitten Birdie, who I saved from being unwanted, from a 4 month long rabies quarantine, named, spayed, vaccinated, and then gave her a home full of love.
She is checking out her Easter basket I made and the flowers we grew and bouquets I created. 

I tell myself over and over, like some meditational affirmation, that as long as my intentions are pure and genuine with the goal being to serve something and someone beyond me, that it isn't terribly important to categorize and profile. Right? 

Can I be both inspired and compulsive? Is one beneficial and the other detrimental? Can I be a half of two and more than one as the product?

The bike path, Georgetown to Lewes, Delaware

Yesterday we went for a run with the dogs. We are staying at my friends beach house in Lewes, Delaware for the week. Myself, my husband Joe, my sister Diedra, and her two boys along with one of their friends. Our normal routine is to get up around 8 (a good two hours past our normal at home chore and make it to work time), and run with the dogs before it gets too hot outside. The typical mid-July day temps are mid-nineties, and the sun is brutal in its prime. The dogs are excellent vacationers. They are used to being included in all family activities, but they still need outside time and bathroom opportunities. We have a short jog to the old railroad trail that is now blacktopped and wide enough for the brigade of bikes that it hosts. We can go right and head to downtown where The Station on Kings resides. The Station is a barn like looking structure with a sunbathed sky-light interior and a garden store adjacent. White marbled countertops showcase delectable baked goods that are irresistible to all of the senses that attempt to talk down the blood sugar count. This particular morning we ran to the left. Two miles to the left is Old World Breads bakery. Old World hits you within a half mile of its ovens. The invisible lasso of egg sandwiches, fluffy yeasty crusted rolls and coffee is cosmic. The dogs prefer left too. Like the horse returning to the barn these pups pull you to the breads in a hopeful dash to carb-ed bliss. The jog in either direction is only a few miles under a tree canopy tunnel. The dogs are used to sharing the road and they love the adventure almost as much as their chaperones do. 

At each destination we take turns going into the bakery. Dogs aren't allowed and I would never trust mine to not whine and beg in some pitiful display of unmet needs. I stick to a coffee, small. Pack light and stay prepared for the run back. This morning we collected our coffees, packed a backpack with goodies and headed to the nearby park bench to swallow gulps of hot coffee and plan the rest of the day. 

The Station On Kings, Lewes, Delaware

There is only one bench. Sitting there smiling in the shade was a young woman and her flat tired bike. We asked to sit next to her and watched as the dogs approached wagging and gleeful. It is a beach town where dogs are ubiquitous, but that doesn't imply everyone's affirmation to pet loving. Thankfully as they approached she offered a hand of hello. Within minutes we had exchanged basic introductions. Dogs names first, her predicament second. She was biking 20 miles to run her errands for the day and enjoy the sunshine. She, like us, does everything she can to avoid cars, heavy traffic and the bustle the rest of the world accepts as collateral for living in the beaches. She was waiting for her daughter to wake up and come rescue her. We offered to head home and come back to get her with our car. 

"Nope, it's a beautiful day out. So, I am just going to enjoy it here." She was perfectly content to sit and watch the rest of the beach ride by. 

Old World coffee counter

I was struck by her answer. I don't think I can remember the last time that I took joy in being stranded and having to rearrange my list of errands for the day because of it. 

Old World Breads pretzel

Diedra chatted her up and together they both realized they were teachers who agreed that the pulse of the Summer allowed the rest of the years chaos to be permissible. My sister is a math teacher. All rules and animosity to students who struggle to conform to its rigidity. This mom with the flat tire, an art teacher in the local high school. She has been here for over two decades. Long enough to have seen this place balloon into high rises, condos, and vanishing farm lands. 

"I came here as a child. It was always our Summer retreat spot. When I graduated college I got my first job here, lived on the beach in the Summer and I couldn't leave." She now has ids of her own and still cannot get enough of the sunshine and its Summer vibes.

Beach life

She got me thinking about my life. Where I am, how I got here and how much the sun, the sand and the sea influences my joy.

I used to dream of being an artist. immersing my whole soul into color, The creative outburst of just feeling set into the world for pure joy. It is the reason I do so many incursions into my back yard and excursions into the big city. The reason I write and read and find escape in other peoples work. 

The photos of my kids,, at home.

I live vicariously through others. I surround myself with clothes, shoes, jewelry and interior design. I build and acquire and put little pieces of my soul out into the world. Some of it is buried in an abdomen. The magic of surgery set to make the patient a more viable soul to go back into the realm of the living. 

Maybe I get the creative process mixed up with the artistic influence? And maybe the work I build doesn't have to be for pure aesthetics. Maybe the work I do is all about feelings and the hidden magic that building yourself into an expert entails.

Seraphina and me. A very good example of my work.
my inspiration and my compulsion.

Is my passion the same as my inspiration and my compulsion? Yes. Call me what you want but I get to live a life that allows me personal expression, freedom to live and love and the acknowledgment that it makes lives better,, even if those lives can't pay me, or thank me, or allow me to sign my name to it. It's all about giving back and sharing joy. The mark of any great artist. 

The Artists Village in Asheville NC

What inspires you? And, is it enough to compel you to do something?

How Our Pets Define Us.

This is a copy of my most recent Facebook post on my veterinary clinic's page.

This is me. On any given day. There hasn’t been one patient, or one moment of my veterinary life, (or, personal life), where I don’t tell my patients how much I love them. 

I’m working on a project about how much we love, adore, and live for our pets. 

I know my story about why I am so dedicated and devoted to my pets, (and patients), but I want to hear your thoughts. What does your pet mean to you? How much do you love them and why? DM me or post here. (And let me know if I can use your story). Go!

Here are the responses I received:

From Kristen;

This is Sarge. I have other pets (who I love dearly) but Sarge is the first dog I had on my own as an adult. He’s been with me through everything for the last 7 years. He’s been with me through the best times and he’s been with me through the absolute worst times in my life. He’s never judged me for mistakes I’ve made. He loves me unconditionally and I love him just as much if not more. He’s not the brightest bulb the majority of the time (lol) and he may be terrified of a 6lb cat but I love him anyway. He’s getting older and his muzzle gets more and more grey every single day it feels like. The day I have to say goodbye to him will be the absolute worst day and I hope it doesn’t come anytime soon 🐾💙

From Karen; 

California Cotton( CeCe). And yes, she feel & looks as soft as cotton. She came to me in the summer of 2011, a feral born kitten sleeping on my patio chaise lounge one morning. Making a long story short, I was able to gain her trust & bring her inside to become my constant companion. She made the 1960 mi cross county trip with our retirement relocation from south Cali to west Tn. I love her dearly!!! She is a snowshoe Siamese, 12 yrs old now. You may use my story.....CeCe loves suitcases.♡

From Katie:

Fiona

When I got Fiona a few months after my cat, Pumpkin tragically died, my dad told me that she was so special and Pumpkin sent her to my life for a reason. I thought he was crazy, until my little Fiona saved my mom’s life. 

Fiona and my mom’s dog, Sophia, got in a little spat and my mom tried to break it up. Fiona inadvertently bit my mom’s breast. Fast forward a few weeks, her breast was very tender which sent her to the doctor and then to get a mammogram. The mammogram showed breast cancer. My mom wasn’t due to get a mammogram for some time and luckily the cancer was caught early enough, she only needed a partial lumpectomy and radiation. 

Without Fiona, this event would have never happened and the cancer would most likely still be undetected. 

Fiona has brought so much joy to our lives and there is nothing we wouldn’t do for her!

From Jewel;

I have always had dogs. Some touch you deeper but you love them all. My son died 15 years ago and his dog passed 2 years later. It was so painful. Several years later I brought home a stubborn, arrogant Chessie pup. We didn't bond right away. Something kept getting in my way. Well, then he bloated and during his recovery, they had me come to the clinic and feed him because he wouldn't eat. You could see his eyes light up, giving me side eye, waiting for me to hand feed him. He is still stubborn but we are forever bonded. He saved me and he sleeps in my bed!

Milla and Morrocco

From Dee; 

Unconditional love, no judgement, wet kisses, & wants nothing but a nice belly rub & daily walks with daddy. Archie is a rescue from a kill shelter. Best thing my husband & I ever did was bringing this funny 4 legged animal into our home. He is loved & he gives so much love in return.❤️

From Robin;

Simply unconditional love from all my pets. Even on days where I am a bit down, they cheer me up just.by being there....They're dependent on me for everything and give so much love in return..3 cats and 1 dog..all rescued! ❤️

From Melinda;

This is my Stella, she came to me about a year before my 14.5 year old pit had to be put done Christmas night from what y’all believed was a brain tumor, Stella has been my heart dog as Carolina was my soul dog, Stella makes my life a little brighter everyday she’s always so happy and full of life but willing to cuddle with me Ans give me lovings at the same time. She’s not my only one I also have a male trouble And recently added Jack to the pack. There is also 4 ferrets and 3 cats that are all part of the family they all keep my busy but i wouldn’t have it any other way and of course use away

From Susan; 

I have no children of my own...my pets have always been my children. ❤️

From Marko:

My wife and I have been married for almost 31 years now. She had never had dogs but always wanted one. Even before we got married we got our first yellow lab. Had 5 additional labs over the ensuring years, unfortunately several passed from cancer. 6 years ago we had lost our last best friend and thought we could never go through it again. But time passed and the pain dulls and we started seeing lots of puppies on Facebook. We got the bug….ok I got it and she put up with it. We were very lucky to get our best friend ever, Riptide. For the past 18 months he has grown and gotten more sweet every day. He’s smart, goofy and utterly affectionate and loyal. He loves to go on walks with me, we talk all the time, he tries to talk back. He’s funny and knows it and it has lifted my heart on many occasions and is a joy to wake up to in the morning. While at times he can be a bit mischievous and I get exasperated with him he then does something that melts my anger. He is the best dog we have ever had and we have had some very good companions over the years. How can you not look at this face and smile? I dare you!

From Susan;

Our first family dog, was the result of much begging. We went to a 'shelter' in the country. My brothers liked the cute black and white that was scared of her own shadow. My dad, ever the RAF officer, had words with a large noisy German shepherd, but I wanted the sandy dog, chained to a pile of sand. I won. All the way home we got lectured about walking, and bathing, brushing, finishing with, "he's not coming in the house till he's had a bath"

So in the pool outside, we bathed him. He came out sparkly white, with 3 tan patches. The most beautiful border collie, he lived till he was 17 🙂

From Autumn (vet tech here at Jarrettsville Vet, mom to Hamilton);

Two of my sweet boys- peach will always always hold the biggest spot in my heart. He has not had an easy road what so ever and we have learned that nothing is perfect and to make each day a memory. 🧡

little ham has forever changed my world and I am so grateful that the individual brought him into work and that Cindy came and got me right away! I won’t ever forget Dr. mags face when I held up my floppy little fish.. she looked at me like I was absolutely crazy, but knew that she’d be right there with me learning the world of ham.

Both of these orange babies have taught me patience and to just know that everything will be okay. And for that I’m forever grateful to be in the veterinary field helping dogs & cats everyday ❤️

From Suerena;

My father was an avid animal lover and made sure we grew up with them in our lives. Our cats and dogs were family members, not pets. As an adult, I’ve been fortunate enough to continue that with my children. Animals teach us kindness, forgiveness and unconditional love. That look of love in their eyes when they hone in on you is unmatched. We raised, loved and eventually had to let go of too many babies but somehow our hearts remained open to do it all over again. This is our Odie. He was special. He saw your heart, knew what you needed and when you needed it. He was truly one of our children. We were honored to love him and be loved by him for almost 17 years. My heart still hurts and it’s been a little over a year since we lost him. We’ve opened our hearts once again and adopted and I know she won’t be our last. Because our lives are not complete without the barks, meows, purrs and licks that these precious babies give us. 

Thank you for loving our pets as much as we do. You’re a very special woman with equally special people that you surround yourself with Jarrettsville Vet. You’re welcome to share if you like.

 From Linda;

This is my baby Paulie (Paul) we adopted him from a local animal shelter this past January when he was roughly 6months old. He was an early birthday gift. Only the best gift ever!!!! He is sweet, loving, very affectionate, funny & just fills our hearts & our home with Joy. He really keeps us laughing with his crazy antics. We had 3 boy brother cats that we raised from babies. & after our George died , our home was very empty & just void- missing that special spark & love that only having a furrbaby can give. He has helped heal our hearts. I became very ill last summer & spend a lot time in bed/@ home. He stays by my side on those though days & makes me laugh & makes the hard days have some joy.

So to me, having a pet is having unconditional love & joy.

From Dolly;

My little Missy means the world to.. Adopted her 7 years ago and never a day goes by I don't thank the Lord I found her. There are so many precious little fur babies out there just waiting for a loving forever home. Please consider adoption....You will never be sorry.

From Sue;

I have always had pets. As a child, I had ducks, gerbils, rabbits, cats, dogs, guinea pigs and I even hatched a killdeer (bird) that was abandoned in a nest. We also had a dog that we got from the Humane Society. He was not socialized and crazy as all get out. I remember the first day we had him. He stole the dinner off the dinner table. As an adult I always had dogs and cats. I really didn’t intentionally get them. They found me. Of course I loved them all. As I got older dogs became harder because of my illness so once my last dog died, I only had cats. Those always found me too and they were wonderful. I don’t know if I’ve ever gone very long without having a pet. My last pet, Tigger help me through a very difficult time in my life. He was the sweetest, most caring, I don’t want to say human because sometimes humans are not nice, but he just had this quality about him that we just seem to communicate in a different way. He understood when I did not feel well and stayed with me the entire time. When others did not understand my illness, he did. I still miss him. It’s been nine years and as I write this, I am tearing up. I did not want to get another pet after he died of kidney disease. He really had a hard time. We had to give him fluids and he hated it. He didn’t feel well, and he didn’t like what we were doing, but he always cooperated. Not too long after he died my daughter rescued two semi feral young cats and they needed a home. I was not ready but they needed someone and so as it had gone many times before I took them in. They are very sweet and I love both of them and I wouldn’t have it any other way❤️

From Rebecca;

This is the middle of my 3 pups, Hunter. He's been with me through a really tough few years( extended family estrangement, mom died, etc). He helped me through every day with his joy and his unconditional love. He's struggling through some serious health issues now but still has moments of joy. I've got you, my sweetest boy💜

From Jennifer (Jarrettsville Vets business administrator);

Johnny Cash ❤️ Because of him I learned puppies do die in shelters right here in our own backyard. I found my way back to Rescue, and found my voice for these animals who do not have a voice. Because of him my family has fostered over 100 dogs and  puppies, and countless cats over the past 10 years. And because of him I met all of you at JVC. He is my daughter’s best friend, our constant protector, and a dog who’s paws will never be able to be filled. There have been countless times when I want to throw the towel in on this Rescue thing, but I look into his eyes and remember there are many other dogs, just like Johnny Cash, who are waiting in the shelter for a family to call their own too.

I’m quite sure that is why Zorro found his way back to me; so that when Cash is gone I will look into his eyes and find my purpose there too. 🐾

From Otto;

My 2 cats 😺 Squeak & 😸 Missy r “my whole world” !!!! If someone asks if I have children, I say, “I have 2 daughters” - lol. 😂😆

I love ❤️ these 2 to the moon & back - (even more than people or my family - true !). I say pets r “the best thing” that God 🙏🏻 created !!!. They luv u “just as u are” ….. 🥰

From Jayne;

They say our pets are an extension of ourselves, and I believe there is a lot of truth to that. And through that bond, they take us on many adventures, provide us with endless joy, help us create connections with others, and give us a sense of purpose.

My journey started at age 53 when I got my first dog. All my life I’ve had multiple cats and wanted to experience being a dog parent. I still have 3 cats, but have expanded the household to include 3 dogs. I honestly cannot recall my life before dogs, and will never go without ever again. How could I have lived so long without having a dog?

My first was a Weimaraner puppy (Chloe Marie who is 2 1/2). I resorted to a breeder after trying to get a dog, any dog from local rescues for almost a year. After the 4th “we don’t feel you are a good fit,” I did what I said I would never do and lined the pocket of a breeder. Chloe brought me so much joy that it broke my heart how sad she was every day when I went to work. A friend of mine told me about an adoption event at Petsmart, and although I was looking for a smaller lap dog, for some reason I just knew I needed to adopt this Great Pyrenees who is the best dog and we call Marty.

6 months later, being so in love with both of my dogs, I decided I needed to volunteer for this rescue that easily let me adopt my baby girls best friend and brother. Needed to pay it forward so to speak. First I found myself unloading stinky dogs at 5 am., then a few hours later cleaning out poopy crates, telling people about the dogs, and facilitating meet and greets. When you make that human/dog connection and see how happy the people and dogs are when they are United you fall down a rabbit hole of dog rescue, and there is no coming back.

Which brings me to dog number 3, Buddy. Buddy was my 5th foster, and he was an epic fail. He was a 5 year old Wolfhound/Pyrenees mix that had been a working LGD, had been taken into protective custody with 52 other dogs and was still recovering from being attacked by a pack of Coyotes. There was no way I was going to let that dog take another 18 hour trip back to Texas. It took me a while to get him out of the car and into the house. And probably a good 3 months to see him come into his own. But I knew however long he had left on this Earth, he was going to be with me. The entire dynamic in the house changed. He had a calming affect on my Weim, and my Pyrenees had someone to patrol the perimeter of the backyard with. I would take him to the dog park with the Weim, and on the rare occasion when he had a Zoomie all the regulars in the park would cheer. He doesn’t have Livestock to guard anymore, but there are chickens on the other side of the fence. He always goes to that part of the yard and simply sits there guarding the chickens he has never seen. But he is safe now. Retired, and is very nurturing when I bring fosters into the house. We all have a purpose and a role in our little pack here. These 3 guys have connected me to more people and provided me with more joy than words can possibly express. Here is a picture of Buddy, my rescue puzzle who I am still piecing together 9 months later. Little by little we find the pieces, together, each and every day.

From Donna;

These are my babies, Jackson sitting up and Sugar Plum lying sternal. I adopted Sugar Plum in October of 2014 by direction of my Mom who was recovering from heart surgery. Mom could tell I was missing my fur baby Jessie who I lost in June. Mom passed away December 29th, but she fell in love with Sugar Plum. In July of 2015, Jackson adopted me unexpectedly and we all fell in love. Since January of 2019, I've been dealing with severe injuries sustained at work and without these two beautiful souls, I think I would be insane. There is a reason DOG is GOD spelled backwards. The unconditional love is beyond words but my heart is so full. Thanks for listening and thanks for all that you do for your pets, patients, and clients. ❤

From Susie;

This is my 9yo Springer Spaniel Poe. I love him so much and he is my little shadow all day long. He follows me wherever I go around the house and yard. I talk to him constantly. He is very well-trained and always eager to please. A true pleasure to be around. We enjoy our daily long walks to the creek where he loves to swim. I hope he lives forever. I can’t imagine my life without Poe.

From Donna;

You can often judge how a man will treat you by how he treats animals. When my husband and I first met he had Sady, a black lab/German shepherd mix (100 pounds of dog). She was the smartest, most well behaved dog I had ever met and she was the love of his life. And he was hers. She went almost everywhere with him. I had Duo Maxwell, a pure bred papillon who was dumb as a box of rocks but I loved him. My husband swore he was not a cat person but in 2009 we found Chessie in the woods behind his parents house. Chessie was about 3 weeks old and had been bitten by a snake on his paw. We originally took him in just so we could get him to a vet and then find him a home. Now the old man is 14 and even with some health issues still going strong. We lost Sady the same year we got Chessie and he helped heal my husband's broken heart. We lost Duo in 2018 and I don't know who mourned more, my husband or Chessie. Fast forward to March 2020, I had seen a skinny black cat wandering the field next to our house. When I mentioned it to my husband he said "don't feed it, we don't need another cat". He went out one Sunday evening to get firewood and there it sat on our front porch. Within minutes my husband had a bowl of water, a bowl of food, and a box with a blanket in it for the cat outside. By the next weekend he had built a platform for the box to sit on so that it wasn't on the cold cement. By the following fall Tuxedo had a house with a ramp, shingled roof, insulation board, and a heat lamp. He also gets a fan in the summer. He lives better than some people! Tuxedo prefers to live outside but he is a total lovebug. My boys (as I refer to Chessie and Tuxedo) are our life. They depend on us and we vow to take care of them until their final breath. Sure, sometimes life would be simpler (and cheaper) without pets but their unconditional love and companionship makes it all worth while. I just wish they could live forever.

JVC, thank you for what you do for all of the animals that come through your door. I am a huge fan of Hami!!😄 

From Sherry;

My kiddos have brought me so much joy, laughter, and love. I learned about rescue through the adoption of my first poodle Bentley, and I've been volunteering for over 20 years now. All of my pets have been rescues. They are the greatest loves of my life, and I will forever be an advocate and voice for animals. This my Roo. Today is his 6th birthday!

I grew up with rabbits, cats, three dogs, snakes, a cockatiel. I read James Herriot’s books until I’d nearly memorized them. I was one of those young horse girls who swore she was going to grow up and be a vet. Vet turned to pre-med, pre-med led me to Latin, Latin led me to Archaeology and archaeology took me all over the world. My life of transatlantic moves, six weeks in Italy, six weeks in Scotland, hoping from project to project in England, the Netherlands, Turkey. I was certain there was no space for pets in that life. But every time I saw a dog on a walk in the hill where I happened to be digging, I’d stop and chat and eventually befriend dog and owner for some sad surrogate dog experience-anything I could get! But life changed. I came back to MD, accompanied by a British husband whose most notable family pet was a gerbil they lost after two weeks. He was overwhelmed by my family’s multi-large-dog household. After a year of living here, and the growing certainty that we would not be moving off-continent, it was my husband who started lobbying for a dog. Mourning my past life of cliché archaeological jetsetting, I thought a dog would ‘tie us down’ and resisted.

We got Nausicaä ‘Nausi’ (far left) (I chose this for my future dog during my very first Greek class, she’s named after a character in Homer’s Iliad), my perfect heart dog. She is compassion and quiet joy in 51 lbs of cream golden and I was wholly unprepared for just how deeply I would love her and how much she would prove how open I could be to loving and caring for another living thing. Friends joke that I love Naus more than my husband, they aren’t wrong. She came to me at a time when I wasn’t being honest with myself about how broken I was by the loss of my ‘past life’ across the ocean. She gave me something to focus on beyond ruminating in the past, living a half life disappointed that I wasn’t always somewhere else.

From George;

I was the owner of Georgie ( yellow lab) he had diabetes and wasn’t expected to live very long. He had been getting his shots by me only and on time. Anyway he lived 6 more years before he passed away at Belair animal hospital. He waited for me to get there and be with him when he took his final breath. Broke my heart. My late wife decided to get another dog ( pit bull terrier) Posey to help me get over my broken heart. 4 months later my wife died and Posey was her dog ( 4 months old when we got her. Animal rescue for $500. That dog never left my wife’s side and slept in her lap . Today Posey is going to be 2 yrs old and loves everyone. Loves kissing people. She plays with the cats outdoors and has her own cat inside the house. They play and chase each other. I’m working on trying to get Posey to be like Georgie was . Go for morning rides in my truck but she won’t be still even harnessed to the seat. She’s a good young dog and loves her walks around the property. And is always sniffing around everything. She tired herself out and comes over to take naps laying on my lap. At night I kiss here good night and she sleeps all night. Until I get up then she waits for me to kiss her good morning and tell her I love her. I’m going to be 75 years old ( 5 days ) after Posey’s birthday.

Why did I ask for all of these? Because I think it is imperative that we all remember our Why. Why we always see our work as being the most sacred of responsibilities. Why when we have those little choices in a tiny room, where life is hanging in the balance, that you can make a decision to be more. More than you have to be, more than the rest of the world expects you to be, and yes, just enough to be a hero,, to that pet and that person who adores them as their whole world.

My inspiration. This little girl loves her kitten, who she named Baby Ketchup, just as much as I always have, and always will.

When my days are long, hard, heart-breaking, and grueling I remember why I am here, and how important what I do is. 

There is more to come. More on why we have to be more to all of those we ate sworn to serve. More on how we can advocate for our pets even when it seems that the profession holds all of the cards. Why transparency is lacking. Why we have abandoned our ability to fight for a patient. Why it is easier and still profitable to euthanize instead of provide the needed care. And why we can convince ourselves that we should treat everything, offer a plan that costs more than it should, and seek compensation regardless of the degree of futility we almost always know it provides. 

Vetmed comes from a place of humble beginnings. We are now a place being consumed by venture capitalists with no rules, no boundaries and a whole heart of emotional influence that will bankrupt a pet parent if able.