Will Your Pet Have A Happily Ever After?

There are many of us who are passionate about animals. I spent most of last evening with someone who was so passionate that she has been elevated from "oligarch owner" status to self proclaimed "adroit animal aggressor." She, and I, have a great deal in common.

When it comes to being committed to helping animals we are on the same team. We chant similar fight songs, viewpoints on the anthropomorphism, and would prefer to not go on vacation than leave our kids at home alone. But, we differ on a few points.

She was telling me a story about a dog she had been called to re-home many years ago. It seems the dog she was asked to help had been adopted by an elderly woman in her 70's after her husband had died. A few years later it was decided that the woman required full time care and needed to be taken  to a retirement home, and so her companion needed to go elsewhere. She described in some detail how she believed the elderly woman was just being "selfish to adopt a pet when she was so old."

That conversation caused me to pause when I recollected the events of earlier in the week when I was talking to Dr.Morgan at the clinic.

Dr. Morgan and I were standing in the reception area. At her feet was a small Yorkie who I recognized immediately.

"What is Ben doing with you?" I asked.

I knew that Ben had been in the hospital all last week when Dr. Morgan removed multiple bladder stones and that he had appeared to be recovering well.

"I did Ben's surgery pro bono last week because his family couldn't afford it and his parents are going into a retirement home. The kids can't take him." And hence, since his recovery last week, Ben had been staying with Dr. Morgan. He was now her small silver shadow and where she went he was sure to follow.

I was dumbfounded. I had seen Ben and his mom for years and I couldn't imagine one without the other.

Dr. Morgan and I just stood there. Trying to put ourselves in the families shoes. 

She said to me, "I'm not getting a pet when I grow older."

I looked at her and said, "That's bull. You will always have pets. Just like me. We couldn't exist without them."

"Yeah, you're right," she agreed.

And there we were contemplating how we keep our hearts whole, and not leave a pet to be disposed of when we can no longer care for them. And so we left it. A decision to be who we were, and a decision to hope that our family would understand that those we might leave behind still had value.

We watched as Ben's mom came in to say goodbye to her Ben. We all cried. I cried because Ben had spent all week following Tracy around like a lost sheep, until he saw his mom. He jumped, and squealed, and threw himself into her arms. We all cried. We all stood there facing their pivotal point in life that we all hope we never have to face.

Do I know what my decision will be when my time comes to be cared for and I can no longer care for my pets? Well, no. But I know that I will not let them pay for my mortality. That every speck of whatever is left of my life's accumulations and work can be left behind to care for my pets. Does my family understand my position on my pets? Yes, they do. We, my family, understands that my anthropomorphism transcends my physical life. That until the day comes where I am not of sound mind or body I will loose every single solitary physical possession to maintain the ability to care for my family, who in my case are my pets.

I have had long distressing conversations with clients who requested that I put their pets to sleep should they die. They have been the most difficult moments of my professional life. How do I tell a parent who is so worried and fearful that their pets will be abused, neglected, or hurt after they depart that they would choose to put them to sleep, that I cannot honor their fears? I can only be honest. I try to retell stories like Ben's, and remind people that there are other people out there who love pets as we do, and that your final act of love for your  pets is to give them another chance at a happy life. Where there are happy, healthy days left to live there is desire in every pet to run, play, wag, purr, smile, love and breathe. How can, and why would, you deny them this?

As for Ben; he is an extension of our Jarrettsville Vet family. He has been with Dr. Morgan for two weeks, and will go to his new home on Sunday. Because where we can find a way to make a happy ending we will always do so.

We wish Ben and his mom a happy ever after, and we will keep them both in each others heart and minds with frequent picture postings.

As far as the pets you leave behind, please come up with a plan for them. They need you to be the one who sees them as a child to be cared for after you can no longer do so.

This week also brings the return of Frankie, who's parents died suddenly and unexpectedly. She is once again looking for another home to call her own. For information on her please email me, or find me at the clinic, Jarrettsville Vet.

And as always, remember to hug your kids. Life is a very short and precious thing.

Many Thanks to Dr. Morgan for being Ben's lifesaver, for Kathleen for giving Ben a home, and for Claudia in never giving up on Frankie.

For more information on a living will for the pets you leave behind please visit; What Happens After You Leave Your Pets Behind.

If you have a pet question or want to share your pets story with other pet lovers please visit Pawbly.com. Pawbly is free for everyone to use. If you see your pets as your kids you will be at home with us.

You can also find me on Twitter @FreePetAdvice.

Death and Those You Leave Behind

There are a few die hard animal rescuers, guardian angels, and tireless animal advocates in Harford County, Maryland, where my clinic resides. They are the backbone of how Harford County, (a very rural farming community at the Northern most part of Maryland), keeps the feral cats from outnumbering the squirrels. These  few women generously dedicate their time and considerable amount of personal expense to help the four legged domestic pets of our community that no one else seems to care about. To say I admire and am inspired by them is a gross understatement. Whenever they come to see me at the clinic it is always with another cat or dog with another sad tale and another long road to a happy ending. It is my standard practice to not charge them for my time and to go to whatever lengths possible to assisting them care for their latest do-good-subject. 

Last Sunday Julia came in with a cat in a carrier and a visibly heavy heart. With the opening of the exam room door, a quick "hello" and the cursory "how are you?" introduction I knew that she had an especially troublesome story to share.

"Did you know that my neighbors passed away?" she began.

"Yes, I had heard that the Mrs. G passed about a year ago." I replied. I knew that her neighbors, longtime clients of Jarrettsville Vet, had a few dogs, a mix of poodles and German Shepherds, and some cats. I also knew that Mrs was ill and had passed. "But what about Mr. G?" 

"Yes, he just died too." Julia gave her shy smile and lowered her head out of respect.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I hadn't heard." I answered slowly and softly. 

"Yes, Mr. G died and wasn't found for a week. His other neighbors found him after they noticed there wasn't any footprints in the snow around his house for a few days. There were four dogs in the house, one had died and been eaten, and four cats. Most of the cats have never been seen by a vet and two of the poodles were so matted we had to shave them down to be sure they were poodles." She took a long pause....."Thankfully the little dogs are very sweet and I think I can find them a home easily. The cats....well, I'm not sure they will acclimate well, or be suitable house cats. I'm going too try to find them a home, but if worse comes to worse I suppose I will just keep them as barn cats.

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry." I was having a tough time processing all of the details, trying to skip over mental images, and feeling that sour mix of disbelief, disgust, and dismay. It is at these times that we struggle to remember those little details that make each person an individual. I remember them coming in together as a couple. He was tall, quiet, looming, and she was short boisterous and demanding. They were a colorful couple who most people cowered to, but they loved their animals. Blindly they loved them. 

To think that they were gone. 

To think that their pets, who they loved so very much were at the mercy of us. People they didn't know, who didn't care for them and who would likely split them up, or worse. It is hard for us to imagine that we are going to pass on, and it's even harder to think about planning for those that depend on us. But for our pets it is something they need us to do for them.

I asked Julia if she would allow me to write about this. 

She did one better, (as she always does), she wrote me her account.

She sent me these two photos of the cats that are still in search of a new home. If you can help her, or any of the pets that were left behind you can reach me here. 

From Julia;

On December 19 my neighbor was found dead in his house.  He owned a horse farm and lived by himself with his six dogs, five cats, and four horses.  Apparently he had been dead for over a week before he was found.  None of the animals had food or water, and one of the Poodles in the house was found dead.  Thanks to Officer Stacy Rawlings from Harford County Animal Control who came in and took care of everyone and made sure that their conditions were not critical.  Stacy also had the pleasure of dealing with a German Shepherd who was extremely protective of her property and was able to safely move her. 

The dogs and cats were transported to the Humane Society of Harford County where they were each given an extensive examination and food and water.  The shelter cared for the pets for almost a week until they were picked up on Christmas Eve and returned to the farm.  Thanks to Mary Leavens, Blaine Lang, and the staff at the shelter for giving everyone such great care. 

None of the dogs and cats appeared to be up to date on inoculations, and the Harford County Humane Society generously tested the cats for leukemia and FIV, gave everyone all of their vaccines, and a flea preventative.  This was a huge cost savings for the man’s son who is very appreciative.

I’ve have been helping to take care of the horses along with Emily Cavanaugh, and Jim Nooft.   The man’s son is a horse trainer so he will move the horses and sell them.  The dogs have all been placed in their new homes, and at this time I have possibly two cats that still need a home (pictures attached).  One older cat became very sick after she returned to the farm, and Animal Rescue, Inc. has been caring for Clarice.  Their vet diagnosed her with possible pneumonia, and she is being treated with fluids and is being fed every two hours.  She appears to be getting better so hopefully one day she will be able to go to a forever home.

After this experience I cannot say enough about having a designated care giver for your pets.  Since your pets cannot take care of themselves and make their own decisions, it is extremely important to have an advocate for them.  Also please keep an eye out for your neighbors who live alone, and if you do not see them every few days check on them since their life can depend on it.

A big thank you to Julia for sharing her story, her time, and for always being such a beacon of kindness and generosity to others.

As fate would have it another client died unexpectedly and left their pets alone in their home until his body was discovered. Their story follows next, and I will try to provide some guidelines to help us all take care of our pets should we depart before them.

If you have a pet question, or would like to help others with their pets, I hope you will join the conversation at Pawbly. Or you can find me on Twitter @FreePetAdvice.