The Anonymous Letters

If the intentions are intended to matter, so to do the consequences.

Here's the latest chapter in the saga of the Humane Society of Harford County as I continue to ask for transparency as the vehicle of trust to ensure that the pets of our community receive the best care possible as they await their second chance.

It is the dawning of anonymous letters arriving at the clinic. Anonymous as in "I want to call you out but I am too meek to do it in person." Now this might come across as mocking, (which it isn't intended to be), but it is a reminder that only adult conversations are entertained here. If you want to incite any kind of change anywhere you have to be willing to do two things; 1. stand up for something, and, 2. stick by it.

This entire endeavor with the Humane Society of Harford County started out as an offer of support, medication and a hopeful sparing of lives from a parvovirus outbreak. What resulted was an uncovering that there is not a veterinarian, (although they claim to have 4 on staff), who managed at least two of the dogs who were sick, nor, was there ever any intention to try to care for these dogs. It was, as it has remained, a veiled attempt to act like there is a caring environment for these animals whilst saving face to continue to seek taxpayers and donors dollars, via ignoring inquiries. This is where I came in. This is where this whole unveiling of events, leadership choices, and financial protections came to light. This is where this story, at least for me, started. What hasn't been shared by me publicly is that there were others asking the same questions, seeking the same answers, changes in accountability, and transparency, long before me. I am not novel in my queries here. I am simply the only one with the long game, and, a destination in mind. As I explained to the current HSHC President, I am stubborn. I do not give up. It will be complicit, and, I will not meet the same fate that Mikayla, (see reference in letter below), did. I am not able to be bullied. I have no time for it, and, I have no ability left for anyone else's opinion of me to matter. Where both letters are tactics for me to be afraid, concerned, (I don't even know because I just don't reside in that headspace), there is a sense of lightness in being independent from outside influence. It is with all of this said that I provide these letters the only space they will ever be given again. Someone out there is very heavily invested in shutting me up, or, ashamed to be part of this inquiry. You can send me a dozen more letters. I will add them to a pile in a file and move on. You can seek counseling for your need to be heard, seen, and influence, but here it falls on deaf ears. You are, as my references choose to remain, barking up the wrong tree. 

I truly, honestly, and bold faced firmy have to say that there isn't anyone who can make me question my intentions. I don't care if you don't like me. I just don't let anyone influence my purpose. It has taken some time and some bruises along the way, but it is the crown you wear at 50. 

While I try to live by a motto of "always be kind" it is often at the expense of choosing to be correct, or right some perceived wrong. I can be harsh, direct, and unyielding. I will also always remain the person who never turns away a pet in need, always tries to help my fellow woman/man, and always gives more than I expect to get in return. You don't know me outside of Facebook. I'm not your enemy, but I might be the person who kneels at the anthem, the woman who will not go to the back of the bus, and the person who goes to a war torn nation to save a bear. This endeavor is not about you. This is about something bigger than me too. This is about compassion for those without a voice, at the mercy of the world they have been overlooked, diminished and fallen prey too. Maybe that will help you refrain from feeling compelled to stay in the dark. 

This is about protecting the most vulnerable and the most needy of our community. For those of us who seek comfort, companionship, and yes, acceptance from a world we feel alone in, our pets are our everything. I see each pet, every single animal and being in the same light. If you cannot, will not, or do not view them in this capacity than you have no place in pet care whether that is private veterinary medicine or the public shelter system. 

The letter yesterday (7/17/25)
When the threat of prosecution doesn't work use suicide?

The first letter 6/10/25
Apparently intended to be a threat of legal action based on a leaked document that was given to the Sheriff's department.

So, where to go from here? Onward and upward and tip-toe through the potential threats of voices who need an audience from someone that they can control. She isn't me.

For anyone who feels bullied I offer empathy. For anyone who thinks it is coming from me I offer this; every statement has been public, posted and I remain transparent. I share the emails, the videos, and the content. You may not like what I have to say, but, I am not a veterinarian for people, I am a veterinarian for those without a voice to seek mercy. Are they mutually exclusive? Well, they shouldn't be. Dogs, and cats were killed at the shelter without a chance. They deserved better. No one can feel good about denying a treatable patient a chance. Asking me to stop, or go away is not going to happen no matter how many letters you send me. I cannot offer advice outside of the words I tell myself. No one else's opinions matter. You only have to like yourself at the end. Life is about living the one you feel provides you purpose, joy, and helps others. You won't be liked by everyone. You have to accept that and be ok with it. If you are ever in a position that holds others lives in your hands you better be prepared for scrutiny. It is what you give up when you decide for others. This is where my argument lies. This is where I fight my battles and remain heels dug in unyielding to the threats and the name calling.

There isn't anything here but determination, conviction and compassion for the patients of the profession I serve within. There is no noose I will let anyone place upon my neck as I try to save every wet nose that needs me.

Resources for all of us;

988 Lifeline

13 Suicide and Hotline advocacy groups

Nami.org

Open Letter, Parvo Puppies Shelter, HSHC

 

                                                                                                            March 13, 2025

 

Open letter to the community, board members, staff and residents of the Harford County Humane Society,

            As a private veterinary practice owner, previous volunteer at the shelter and compassionate advocate for animal welfare I would like to open a productive discussion to assist in providing transparency and preventative/interventional care for the animals in your care. This letter is a direct result of the current parvovirus outbreak that occurred the week of March 9, 2025 and my previous experiences with the shelter.

I, and the staff at Jarrettsville Veterinary Center, want to offer our support and acknowledgment of understanding with the impossibility to remain free and impervious to infectious disease. No shelter, hospital, or organization can be vigilant enough to remain disease free. Infectious disease outbreaks, and the subsequent turmoil they bring, cannot be underestimated or overstated. It is a reality that every pet care professional lives with and fears regardless of our fastidious efforts to avoid it. The shelter has been, and will always be, the most vulnerable and fragile environment for our companion animals. What the shelter also needs to be is the most proactive, prepared and educated resource for this inevitable vulnerability. I have great doubt that the current executive personnel and board members provide adequate care for the pets inside the shelter. I also believe this example presents significant deficiencies in the current decision making for companion animal welfare and infectious disease outbreaks for the shelter residents. Further, these cases provide an example for how the current ethos affects the shelter staff.

It is unknown how many animals were at risk, (i.e. not current on vaccinations to protect against parvovirus), tested, tested positive, sick, or euthanized, (and in what condition as examined by a licensed veterinarian), upon euthanasia. It is also very difficult for me personally to know that there were any dogs euthanized without first being offered care at no cost. Did the Board, executives, (whomever made this decision to euthanize), even know that there is an FDA approved treatment option? Did you know it was being offered at no cost? If so, why was it not provided?

Trust and transparency are the foundation to compassionate care in the shelter system. It is with these in mind that I would like to highlight the following;

Transparency is closing the shelter when infectious disease becomes apparent. It is also notifying and assisting the recent adoptions who may have been impacted.

 

Trust is including all members of the team so that their input, emotional investment and exposure which might subject their own family pets to disease contracted in the workplace feel valued and protected.

To have the degree of trust the community deserves, and the degree of compassion the pet residents warrant can only be done with a licensed veterinary doctor at the forefront of all of the medical decisions these pets face.

The financial risk at the shelter has always felt like it was paramount to the pets, the staff and the community. I say this with the following examples as points of concern;

The last executive director was removed and placed out of view, without explanation. It appears this was done after an internal audit occurred. The shelter has a chronic epidemic of losing, firing, removing personnel at alarming rates. As a volunteer veterinarian, and knowing previous Executive Directors and veterinarians there are consistent concerns that pet care is never at the forefront of life and death decisions. Currently it is speculated that pets are being euthanized for behavioral concerns at an alarming rate. Are there any checks and balances to these pets being put to death? Is there more than one credentialed person who is not related to one another making these decisions?

The Board should never be making medical decisions without a veterinarian’s advice as the guiding influence from the onset. The Board has instead consistently chosen to protect liability above the resident pets lives. It has been my experience that the financial face is consistently placed above the faces of the pets that you care for. It is possible to be honest, vulnerable and maintain integrity that the pets are our purpose.

The timeline as distributed by representatives appears to insinuate that parvovirus was present before the March 10^th press release. Was there a veterinarian overseeing the residents, intake and public interactions at the first positive case? Has anyone taken responsibility for these decisions?

Timeline for assistance as provided by JVC is as follows;

Monday March 10, 2025 immediately after I was notified of an outbreak, I called and offered assistance of any kind needed. The veterinarian on staff given full access to veterinary representatives for parvovirus monoclonal antibody use at no cost.  

Tuesday, March 11, 3 pm called Executive Director, no call back as of Thursday afternoon when this was sent.

Wednesday, March 12, 1047 am, XXX, shelter vet care assistant, called to notify that 4 positive dogs had been euthanized. She stated that their condition “deteriorated rapidly.” I would like to know who made this decision, what their veterinary credentials are, and if any of these pets were considered for free care with the monoclonal antibody offered.

It is my understanding that a dog was adopted out and then tested parvovirus positive due to exposure at the HCHS. Were these adopters notified before their dog became sick? It was also relayed to me that the newly adoptive pet parents were given two options from the HCHS; return to be euthanized, or, seek care at their own cost. If this is true I find the response unacceptable. It is so upsetting that I took it upon myself to reach out to the ER they were at to offer treatment at no cost to them in your absent responsibility to do the right thing to a family who deserves support and compassion at this time.

To summarize I am asking for full disclosure on the current ethos that guides this shelter. I am seeking accountability, responsibility and appropriate credentialed experts to be guiding these pets lives. For all of the donations, dollars, fund drives, and face put forth there is not a degree of trust that personnel dismissed for (alleged) embezzlement, neglect and political reputation preservation are made public. Why have the past directors been dismissed/fired/let go? Where are the dollars the community has worked so hard for gone? When will your staff be given the reigns to care for the pets in your care without liability and cost used as the reasons to sacrifice their emotional well-being? When are you going to be honest about why the budget is so tight that it does not allow the pets in your care the treatment they deserve. It appears to me that you are more interested in covering up than caring for.

While I recognize the degree of difficulty inherent in a public county shelter, I also recognize integrity and responsibility to all that the shelter employs and houses.

It is time for hard self-reflection, honesty and putting the pets back where the public expects them to be; first.

It is time to protect the pets of our community better.

As always, we are here in any capacity that we can assist in the health and well-being of the pets of our community. All you have to do is ask and we will help.

Sincerely,

Dr Magnifico

Jarrettsville Veterinary Center

P.S.

I was asked to not publish this while we, (I will just say I, because at this point it appears as if this is a singular effort in namesake), sought the appropriate chain of command channels. This resulted in the others (credentialled, established, embedded members of the HCHS) tried to decide what their responsibilities and personal preferences were. This should have been sent weeks ago.

The People Of HSHC

We all have a responsibility to take care of each other. The Harford County Animal Shelter is the place our lost, unwanted, found, and in need animals go to if there isn't a pet parent to advocate for them. If you have ever spent time in a place that doesn't have a local shelter you understand why these places are integral to the kindness towards animals. They are the best example of why compassion matters. They house the most vulnerable. The most desperate, and it is an immense responsibility. With these come difficult scenarios, challenges and obstacles. No one argues this. When the shelter is a part of a community that cares deeply about their pets the shelter has to be a reflection of the communities expectations. The good, the bad, everything in between. 

Leadership, ethos, and all that these include have to be the guiding principles.

Our local middle school made posters for shelter awareness

Preface; This was written in response to the parvovirus outbreak at the Harford County Humane Society in early March 2025. The videos I posted have been moved to my YouTube channel. They sparked a discussion so impactful it caused ripple effects I had not foreseen. This is one part of a many part series. This is what happens when you ask for answers and get obstacles, excuses, silence, and an emergence of a throng of others who all have been previously where you are with no avail. 

This is the letter I wrote to bring voices out into the open. To acknowledge the courage of so many trying to help the animals they care about. To shed light on a place we all want to succeed. To speak for those who cannot. 

Here goes opening the can of worms...

I am struggling with where to go from here. What to do with the stories, statements, suffering I have been hearing. 

There are many common threads. People feel exhausted from trying to improve the care of the animals at the shelter. People feel beaten up, afraid. I hear "retaliation" and "bullying" over and over. Many people tried to improve things via the chain of command. Started with their manager. Kept forcing the issue up the ranks. Finally, asked for a meeting with the Board and have never been given the dignity of an acknowledgment. Just silence. It makes you feel so insignificant you question your own motives, thoughts, intentions. 

In the end, and just as in the beginning, this place is supposed to be a safe place. A halfway house for those who need a second chance. A place where everything is centered around compassion and love. Pets are love. The purest form mankind will ever have. We have failed them, failed those who care about them. This is the communities responsibility. We all hold a fragment of that. None of us should need a shelter, but all of the animals do. Let’s get back to there.

 

My mom and Templeton. Her rescue from the HCHS

Preface; much of this was forwarded to me by previous employees who wanted to present these to the Board. They were never given an opportunity to share them. The Board has a position of not allowing people their time.

"Since my employment, before my promotion into management, I have been under constant harassment and verbal abuse from certain members of all departments. It was possibly one of the most toxic work environments I have ever been a part of, so toxic that it bled and intruded into my personal life as well as my professional life. I took a lot of this on the chin without retaliation, I did this because I loved the animals and my job and was not going to allow that to deter me and I knew it was unjustifiable for this treatment towards me.",, "I expressed how I have "compassion fatigue" and how I'm working on things from home often without compensation because I care so much and love this place, but I'm not getting anything back and I am being ghosted and I'm wearing myself down. I had a lot of frustration built up because of everything that transpired, I feel this was known that something was deeply bothering me and no one cared or wanted to give me the time to talk about it.." ,, "this is truly unfair and has ruined me mentally with these games that have been played with me and the rough treatment towards me. Silencing me and removing me has now cost me my position in a job I excel at and have nothing but love and passion for, and has ruined my life after how much I have given to this organization and the animals"

 The above was provided in a letter to the HCHS Board early 2024 after termination. Employee is seeking justification and explanation for termination.

A letter from a volunteer;

".. I don't believe the dogs are getting the best care.. I have been told that the dogs are supposed to go out for walks or at least out of their kennels twice a day and for the majority of the time I am at the shelter, that is not happening. I would even wager to say, on the days I am there, there are dogs that are not even taken out once. I know this because there is a board that lists the dogs and AM and PM walks and there are always many openings to show the dog has not been walked. I am there until 4 pm."

",, the junior staff,, they don't really care about the animals. It is just a job to them. The turnover rate is (high)."

Another volunteers thoughts;

"I have not been going to the shelter as much.  It has been depressing. We used to be able to let one cat out at a time to get exercise. Under new management, that was stopped.  The morale has not been the best. They work short staffed on certain days; also are overworked.  They got rid of a guy XX  because he advocated for the barn animals. XX. This burns the staff out covering animal care and the barn animals. Dogs in kennels are lying in feces;  sometimes they walk in it. Therefore it is all over the run.  I was shocked when I heard XXX left. She cared so much for the animals.  She was their best advocate.  They micromanaged her like no tomorrow.  She was the best investment they had. There used to be an abundance of adult cats where there were overflows.  I am not seeing a lot of cats. Not sure what is going on. Even the tech room was filled with them. There was a cat in isolation that someone had fostered. Thankfully that cat was adopted ASAP. With the money missing, not sure why the board and treasury weren’t overseeing the funds.  They also have a bookkeeper.  None of this adds up. Now they had to halt construction on finishing up the new building to lack of funds.  The board could care less. They are in it for their own status and gains. They make bad decisions. They allowed  bullying , harassing, and toxic environment with staff members. It was so bad that XXXX went to lunch and didn’t return . They did not like her because she was friends with someone the staff didn’t like. XXXX was amazing! They treated her so bad.  Meanwhile , they kept some of the bullies.  At first, I wasn’t going to adopt from there. I had a bad experience with the adoption director. XXXX is the reason why I adopted. She fostered and adopted the cats that were special needs or difficult. She was extremely dedicated and gave her life to the shelter! I feel like the board has no interest in the shelter because they have no shelter experience. Then they have a dog trainer on the board.  They have clients bringing their dogs to the shelter and training  the grounds and in the training room. So then the shelter animals do not have a meet and greet.  Who is not to say that one of their puppies could be shedding the Parvo virus.  It is so political. I feel sorry for the new executive director being thrown into a bad situation with no experience.  I am sure she is frustrated."

Excerpts from other employees/former employees; left within the last year.

"The shelter was often at full capacity with dogs, ,, management would bring in puppies from high-kill shelters down south to take to adoption events like the car show at the Baltimore Convention Center to make money. The shelter brought in 3 litters of puppies from Texas for one auto show when the shelter was already full of dogs who deserved the chance to go to events for exposure. However, every year the long-timers got left behind because the puppies generate more money for the shelter and attracted a lot of publicity. In addition all the puppies had to be housed at the shelter for several days/weeks and were often kept in small airline crates and left in offices overnight because we had no open kennels.An urgent plea was often sent out asking for fosters because we were already out of space before bringing in the puppies, however, dogs that were already under the microscope for euthanasia were then euthanized to open space for the puppies."

* note from me; this story is disturbing on a few levels;

The response from the HCHS on why the parvo puppies were not able to be attempted to be saved/treated was because they couldn't quarantine, or had no space to do so. And, they do not have “the financial luxury of gold standard of care.” My response was to remind them that all we offered was free. There seems to be some doubt in our genuine intent. Perhaps another defensive deflective tactic? Further, it is described previously, on multiple occasions that animals spill over into other areas of the shelter for care when needed. I believe that there is also a building halfway completed, but funds ran out? Previous puppies who needed quarantine time (prev vet tried to save a puppy who needed rabies quarantine, although it was her professional opinion that the puppy did not have rabies) were euthanized by management, after she told them she would take the puppy for the quarantine period (ask me I have done it with my kittens, it can be done), that the puppy was best euthanized then kept in a crate. It is possible to quarantine in a room inside a room. The vets puppy would have had a better life than their car show puppies.

"Staff would be terminated or forced out of their position if they spoke up on behalf of the animals, (*note; I have heard this repeatedly). It was made known that "Maryland is an at-will state" and staff could be terminated for any reason. 

Let me go off on the idea of "terminating volunteers."  If any organization is lucky enough to have a volunteer you embrace them whole-heartedly. People are reluctant to step into a shelter, (too depressing, sad, etc), and you are going to threaten to fire them? Or fire them? (PS late entry, I heard two others were recently terminated from volunteering). How many is this in total?

"The animals were being fed twice a day, however, the decision was made by "leadership" to reduce feeding the animals to only once daily to save money. The dogs were only fed in the morning and it was obvious that they were hungry and underweight. Some dogs that were extremely underweight were requested to be twice daily by the staff. Because of the decrease in feeding, dogs were exhibiting signs of food aggression and those that already food aggression got worse and were ultimately euthanized."

Dogs, burn calories at very high rates when they are stressed. Any animal, or anyone in any unfamiliar environment, is going to require a higher caloric intake due to their body having to meet the incredible number of stressors they face. Being in survival mode burns calories at a rate higher than anything else.

"Funds were spent on staff parties and the dogs went hungry. These dogs are stressed out all day. They jump at the door. They run in circles. They run on adrenaline and need extra calories (among a lot of other things)."

Another employee who left last year;

"We had dogs surrendered to us with known health issues that they didn't examine and just threw in kennels to where xx staff found them collapsing and dying because they weren't receiving the care they needed. The dogs in the tech kennels would never have water and would be covered in feces and urine. They thought it was beneath them to care for the dogs....."

"I could go on for days about how poorly they treat the animals. ,,, I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I still have screenshots of emails from my time there, I still have names and dates of the animals that passed away. ,,,, I wish things could get better they need to make a change."

Here's what strikes me as strange. No one in any of the letters complains about the inherent nature of the shelter. No one even mentions any of the things a regular person would. Things like; people left healthy animals there to adopt a younger one. Animals were surrendered that had no evidence of being ... well, whatever (too old, too loud, too hyper). No one ever complains about any of the things that keep adopters from entering a shelter. The stigma of a shelter. The inherent sad, depressing reality that shelters need to exist. With all of the hard realities of a shelter these people accepted them and still felt purpose and belonging within them. They still wanted to be a part of the shelter, for all of its difficulty, just to be there with the animals who needed them too. To hear they are punished, discriminated against, because of this? That’s ludicrous and perhaps grounds for their compensation/retaliation?

92% placement?
What does that even mean?

These are people of trauma. People who live with despair and heart ache. These people all were there because they care about animals. They deserve to have their voices heard. They asked to have their voices heard. They deserve a thank you and a place of gratitude and compassion for trying to help the animals of our community. The shelter is an incredibly hard place to be, the people and animals there deserve nothing but compassion and support. 

There is more to this. More stories. I have to read them in small amounts. Then call/email the author to say, "I'm sorry. Thank you for all you did. It made all the difference for those animals. They needed you and you were there for them. It is the most generous, kindest form of love. You are amazing. Someone needs to tell you that. Someone should have told you that before me."

Multiple people have spoken about the dog with the pyometra surgery who was “found dead with her intestines hanging out” the next morning when her family came to adopt her. The cause of death provided was given as “complications related to surgery.”

The stories go on. The grief goes on. We have to do better.

Watching People Ruin Their Pets. When Do You Intervene?

I saw an event unfolding last night that was not new to me, unfortunately.

A young women buoyed down by screaming, demanding, unrelenting children drags her new puppy in the hospital entrance. This puppy is a small, gangly, mopey, shy, quiet, a wallpaper scruffy scrawny little bag of bones. The last in tow.

As with every exam, my clock, the time you pay me for, begins the moment I set eyes on you and your pet. Being a vet who can only obtain the clues your patient can't verbally provide for you, is about observance. I do most of my work without the client talking or my hands on my patient. In many cases up to and almost 50 % of what I need to know comes from me just watching you and your pet interact before I even start taking notes.

This puppy was perfect. I knew he was perfect within the first minute of seeing him interact, or rather not react to this chaotic crew. He kept his nose down, his tail low, and his feet nimble. He went where directed, no argument, no challenge, no expectations. He sat next to a child ignoring him,,, the ipad was far too captivating. He rested his head on the baby seat carrier next to two month old toes wailing for a binkie. This puppy was last on the totem pole and he was so comfortable with this lot he had been lowered into that he didn't ask for anything more.

I loved him completely for just being so content in the cacophony of cries he misplaced himself within.

My pup Fripp. Abandoned in a box on the side of the road at 2 months old.

Trust me when I say this: puppies are born perfect. People screw them up. Even people who aren't trying to do it intentionally. It's just like kids. Why do they care so much about your opinion of them? Why are teenagers so internally conflicted? Fight so hard, care so much to be accepted? Because that's what youth costs. Puppies, like kids, need time, attention, acceptance, patience, and they need you to as much as possible. They need you to put them before yourself. That's what maturity costs. Juveniles often cannot articulate the exact origin of their dismay, but you know there is conflict if they aren't fitting into your life. The hard part isn't recognizing there is an issue, the hard part is stepping out of your own demanding, busy shoes and trying to fit your fleshy feet into their furred paws. March to the beat of a life without schedules, jobs, financial pressures. These are your problem, not theirs. They cannot relate to you. What happens when old and tired meets new and energetic? Division. Division leeches adoration. Puppies and kids need adoration. Maybe above all else.

My pup Storm. Abandoned at a shelter in NC.

I see far too many new pet parents who hold angst. Many know there is a problem. They can state it in pointed fingered deficiencies.

"It was a puppy mill puppy," (from which they paid for knowingly..), therefore insinuating every issue stems and is related to this... an excuse for us is easier than a plan to overcome.

"She was abused,,, " often a specific example follows to solidify the defense claim, "by a man with a hat. We know that because she is always afraid around men with hats." (Maybe she never had seen a man with a hat before? And, the point is??).

"She can't be crated." (I promise this is not her fault. It's why we start crate training at adoption. You don't go to any shelter in the world and see a room of "uncage-able" pets do you?).

"She can't walk on a leash." (what?)

"She doesn't like other dogs." (OK, that's setting her up for a big problem when an emergency happens, and it's also not fair to her to be so afraid of her own brethren. It's why we socialize as puppies. And, who was responsible for that?).

For new pets these issues, amongst the too numerous others, cause conflict. For the parents it adds stress and angst to an often already overburdened life.

Please don't give me, the veterinarian, the laundry list of "can't" or excuses as to why it "can't" be resolved.. I don't want to hear it. I don't subscribe to it, and, most importantly it isn't helping anyone involved. If you are giving me a problem that is affecting your pets ability to fit into your family we have to address it, solve it, and be prepared for other problems to follow. A road block is a dead end. More of these are likely to follow too.

My pups; Storm, Charlie (my local shelter rescue), Fripp.
All are PERFECT!

In some cases pet parent can't define the exact source of the angst, but, its palpable, and it's looming. I have to ask them to look at themselves? How did they contribute, exacerbate, precipitate, create the issue? It didn't happen without someone responsible for it. It is us, humans, never them. They are perfect. Your job, as their parent, their lifeline to everything in this world, is to help them feel that they are loved unconditionally. Isn't that after all the attraction to them we hold?

After they have tried to solve the source of their angst at home, usually with even more destructive options: like crating all day to avoid the chewing destruction. Chaining outside to avoid the inability to housebreak. Bark collars to shut them up. (They are barking for a reason, ever think of that?). Letting them run loose, because it is "natural." like the "natural" hit by car? After all of this fails they come to see me.

Serafina.. found after being hit by a car, multiple fractures,,,
my favorite part of my work day.

To be very successful in the capacity I wish to be as the family veterinarian, I think that I need a sociology, psychology, social worker and law degree, on top of my vet degree. People screw up everything. I know its not exactly the answer your therapist provides, but, damn, it's what the real life vet believes. YOUR PUPPY IS PERFECT! IT'S YOU. I'm sorry. YOU!

I have three perfect puppies who have been brought to me this year with owners who can't find the reason when they look into their doe eyes to want to keep  them. And, its always the same. It's always the same thing that I hear. "They (the accusatory kind of they), don't do...." whatever. The complaints at the end of the sentence might be a little varied, but essentially these clients want a quick fix to get this puppy to meet the restrictive containment of their humans life. They need to pee or poop less. They need to be quieter in the crate for longer periods of time. They need to bark, play, and overall NEED less." It is a recipe for disaster when these requirements meet my clinic. How can I possibly cure your overwhelming life? It's not your puppies fault you have no time for them. They are demonstrating that you have no time for them. Their lack of training, their rambunctious, unmet energy is your failing. Not theirs.

Fripp

Here's last nights scenario;

This client had just gotten her puppy. He was 5 months old. (Not the typical new puppy age).

"Where has he been?" I inquired.

"He failed out of a service dog program because he had separation anxiety." She then went on to describe how he was so anxious and afraid being left in his crate that she was finding him covered in his own urine and feces every time she left him alone in it. After some heated phone calls between the previous owner, (the supposed service dog training mom), it was discovered that he had never actually been crated, and he had never been left alone. Obviously he wasn't going to jump into a crate and be left alone and be happy about it. He had been set up to fail. Who created the separation anxiety? his previous mom. Some human set him up to be screwed in his next life with the inability to be crated, and never having been left alone. It isn't fair for him to be punished now for things he never learned. Sadly his next life hit him at 5 months old. I was also pretty perplexed how this could be any legit service dog organization? Of course he failed. He was destined to only fail. His new family consisted of a newborn baby, (like those we time stamp in weeks), and a three year old.. who liked to push buttons. The dog was for him, the three year old. He may be capable of feelings, but all I saw was indifference to anything other than the ipad. And three is too young. I stand by this. If you are an adult and you want a dog , fine, thumbs up, go for it.. but your kids under 10, you cannot convince me they are capable of the focus and attention a puppy requires. Stop setting the kids and the dog up to fail. Who is going to pay the consolation prize? The dog, always the dog.

Pets require time. Just like kids. When their needs are not met to their satisfaction they escalate. They escalate until the demand is manifested as a scream. And they tend to be the squeaky wheel that gets the time and attention and toy. The pets in highly active families learn to adapt. They are excellently skilled at adapting, but, they still need you. Many can adapt to being content tag-alongs; off to the beach, the lacrosse field, the family outings together. But, an untrained, unversed puppy, they are too much to manage on top of your kids.. so they get left behind. They get crated. Often too often when life gets too crazy to accommodate them.

When I am asked how much crate time is ok? I have to answer that every pet is different. But in general the puppies that are 8 weeks to 4 months old need lots of playtime.. like at least 4 hours a day. They need to be walked every 2-4 hours. During this time we work on leash walking, potty training. It is their time with you. They need to be fed 3 times a day. And they pee and poop A LOT! It's a full time job. If you already have a full time job and two full time kids why are you getting a puppy?

I make the mistake of asking. I am always met with indignation. Want seems to be an acceptable answer.. but, it doesn't serve your puppy. What is right for them?

It is my job, my purpose, my place to put them in front of your needs. To not set them up for failure. To find the place in your family where they belong, just as they are, a child growing and evolving and learning. Living to be a part of the place you are already solidly within, and  they are not.

I have watched too many families ruin a perfect puppy because they cannot put the puppy in front of themselves. there is no room in their too busy and cluttered life to allow them to grow, branch out, learn what works and doesn't. They are expected to be completely pre-programmed. Know what the dog before them, who had 14 years to figure it out did, and they are then brought to me.

The puppy I met last night was being diapered and drugged to fit better into the morning routine. Which allowed him time outside by himself while the kids and adult were getting ready. Wake at 430, leave at 630, no time  to play. He was fed, put outside and then crated. His frustration with this schedule was displayed by coming unraveled to the point he covered herself in his own pee and poo.

Mom wanted a stronger medication than her OTC to resolve the issue.

There are times I want to abandon civilization. Die in my own white coat and spare the pets of the world the neurosis we inflict upon them.

And yet I stay standing.

"Your puppy was set up to fail by his first family. He is being set up to fail again. He needs more time and attention. When he doesn't get her needs met he escalates. (Sound like your kid at the grocery store?). When he is ignored enough times he will develop his own bad habit, like barking, biting, growling, becoming aggressive, or even withdrawn. He is going to try everything he can to get the time and attention he needs. (I want to add hear in bold print AND DESERVES! but I am still dealing with a human who is putting her last and that won't work).

Melt down begins. "So you are telling me there is no answer?"

"No, I am telling you that we both recognize there is a problem. If you can't give him the time and attention he needs you can either pay someone else to do it; daycare, dog walker, etc. Or, you can re-home him so she can try to have his needs met elsewhere, Or do what I do, and, get a puppy for your puppy. But, there is no way around the needing to find more time dilemma."

I think I spoke to her for over an hour. I tried every imaginable conceivable idea I could muster.

In the end she wanted medication. It came back around to this.

"Medication is used while a behavior plan is being formulated. It is a bridge to allow time for the training to solidify. If medications are used and training fails the medication may need to be continued for years, maybe indefinitely."

"I am on anti-anxiety medication."

"Were you started on it when you were three? So you wouldn't cry? Or need a diaper?"

In the end I fear for this perfect pup. I fear he will be lost in the family that has no time for him. Lost in the expectations he hasn't been made privy to. Lost in the drugs his mom is intent on finding for him. And lost to a society that cannot possibly solve the problems that mount.

As she left she said to me that " She has lost her hope." I am losing mine too, I wanted to reply.

I want to add here that as frustrated, afraid, and concerned as I am, I recognize the scenario doesn't have a lot of options. And, I also recognize and verbalized that this mom needs to take care of herself too.. she, in typical mom fashion, dismissed this as relevant. My job is to be her puppies advocate. I have to figure out a way to help her help him. I HAVE TO! We BOTH have to...

Here's my recommendation for this puppies current dilemma. Crate for varying periods of time throughout the day, but, only after periods of playtime, exercise, training (remember training, yeah, this is so often over looked I cannot even mention it. Add another source of setting up to fail). Someone needs to be more  focused and generous to this puppy. NOW. The reply I got was, "there is no time." face palm.

When do  I intervene? When does my perception of the road ahead, the awful scenarios I have already witnessed; the dogs who resort to biting for attention and are euthanized because of it, and the dogs sent to live their lives alone in a cage, a chain, a shelter because they were perfect once and are ruined now?

I offered to re-home him. I offered to keep helping. Take the puppy during the week when mom was at work. It seemed that no matter what  I offered it wasn't the right answer.

The true joy in having a companion is watching them evolve into their own being. The antics, preferences, idiosyncrasies, quirks, etc. etc.., i.e. recognizing they are their own individual who enriches our lives as they live their own within the family we create for them. To try to mold them into what is easy or efficient for us is setting them up to fail. We know that for ourselves and our children already, don't we?

Muffins, one of our many clinic cats..
She was once feral. She now lives her life on her terms, and is unwanted because no one can see her for her, and love her in spite of it, except for us.

Medicine is as much intervention as it is hope. I question when to do either in a greater degree often. When do I intervene? Often and early. Every pet I fear is being forgotten, neglected, abused, or dismissed gets an intervention plea. Every, Single, One. I give out my email, my phone number, make an intro with my Office Manager (who has three kids and is far more adept at compromise than I), and I make weekly phone calls to inquire. I also offer to re-home. I know what shelters know. That if I can't fix it that pet will pay for it.. Bring them to me before dumping at a shelter. It happens. People screw them up and then give them up.

When clients arrive who cannot see their own participation in the poisoning of their pet, or, when blind pride will cost them a happy pet soul, I resort to hope. It's all I can do in some cases.

P.S. I wish more than anything that I could post the photos that I have of these pups. How much I worry for them every single day. And, how much I have to lean on hope because my influence of medical intervention limits my ability to stalk their homes. Why isn't there a social service for pets? Why? Because we live in a country where pets are property. Their rights end at food, water, shelter, and abuse.. not the kind that includes mental well-being and kindness that exceeds empathy.

Poe, our parvo puppy.
Puppies get sick, they need lots of time, training and vet care.. it is why they are often the most susceptible to abandonment, financial, emotional or otherwise.

Here's my real-life chart of euthanasia, abandonment, and pet related vulnerability;
X axis; age of pet; months to years
Y axis; desire to intervene on pets behalf to include; emotionally, financially, and medically.. new pets get a fraction when compared to pets in the family for years, as they age it declines. Based on my experience alone.

For related blogs see;

The Real Cost Of A Puppy. Parvo Puppy Poe.

Second Chance Cole. Your pet can live without and past you.

The Challenges Of Puppy Adoptions/Purchase

Planning Your Pets Lives Beyond Your Own.. A Moms Guide To Pet Parenting,,,

Top 10 Mistakes New Pet Parents Make 

Want to know what kills me? Watching a person ruin a perfect soul. Happens. That's what costs me my soul saving soul.

For more information on anything and everything pet related please ask us for free at Pawbly.com.

For more information on Jarrettsville Veterinary Center please visit our Facebook page, or website; JarrettsvilleVet.com

I am also posting lots of informative videos at my YouTube channel here.

Thank you for reading and sharing your life with the companions who remind us why life is worth working so hard to keep them in the lifestyle they have grown accustomed to.

Kitten Season. The TURMOIL Of A Vet Who Doesn't Always Know What To Do.

This was the post I placed on my clinics Facebook Page this morning.

"Every Monday JVC provides TNR (trap neuter return) spays and neuters to our community cats. For the past three weeks every female has been pregnant. These cats are either without a home and/or feral. If not spayed the chances of the kittens being preyed upon or suffering from communicable disease is immense. It is not a life for a domestic animal. Please help us provide more assistance to the most needy in our community by spaying & neutering and supporting local charities that provide TNR services. Last year Jarrettsville Veterinary Center found homes for almost 100 unwanted pets. Let's try to cut that in half every year forward. Thanks to all who help."

The TNR cats arrive in a cat trap hiding, hissing, and afraid.
We sedate them through the cage and remove them when they are safe to handle and asleep.

This was one of the first replies I got back;

I am sure that must be difficult for you

Unlike · Reply · Message · 1 · 1 hr

Jarrettsville Vet Center We too often feel like we have no good options. These kittens die outside horrible deaths by disease or predators. These moms are feral. And the kittens become feral if not handled within the first few weeks. It is a vicious cycle only made better by allowing the moms to get spayed and be fed by the colony care givers. We don't even know they are pregnant because we have to sedate them inside the cage. If we don't spay them they will be euthanized when the colony numbers become too large. It is a side of society no one wants to see or admit too. All we can do is help those the volunteers trap and care for. Too many cats get no care, no feeding and no vaccines. Rabies is spread by these cats. Thank you for your kind thoughts.

A sleepy sedated cat is taken out for the exam and spay/neuter surgery

Here is what a typical TNR day looks like; The cats arrive they are in an individual metal trap. They were baited by food to go into it and as soon as they get far enough inside the trap door closes. Most of these cats are from a local colony that is managed by a team of volunteers who take turns providing food, shelter and over sight. They also know the colony. It is as good as we can get when a cat is dumped by a human. These cats were not born here from a wild cat. They are the byproduct of a society that domesticated them and then refused to take full responsibility for them. TNR is the only humane way to provide safety and compassion to a pet we forgot about.

waking up after surgery

Here's where I find myself swimming in an ocean of doubt, despair, and dismay; What do you do when there are too many cats in your area? Too many for homes? And too many to be ignored? After all I live in a very rural area of Maryland. Barns, horses, and farms are the halfway homes to cats who have no residence to call their own. For some the life of a 'barn cat' is a profession worthy of a warm meal, a safe bed, and veterinary care. For others, theses cats are tantamount to rodents. Unwanted scavengers who are not welcomed and not cared for.

For almost every community in our country a cat who is undeniably a domestic pet, they however have no rights, no status, and no obligatory list of provisions. Even though every cat is required to be vaccinated for rabies there is no oversight nor consequence when they aren't. If we took protecting ourselves from this zoonotic disease we should do a better job of protecting our domestic pets.

What do you do when every year, regardless of how hard you try to educate your neighbors about how prolific a cat can reproduce, more cats show up? The never ending revolving door of kittens so sick, so debilitated and so pitiful you are compelled to help, because you can, because you know that if you don't the prognosis goes from poor to grave, again, and again, and, again. There is exhaustion in taking them into the clinic, but, there is death, regret, and pain beyond compare when you don't. So, you do it,, again and again.

Most vet practices do not provide  TNR assistance. I am afraid that it isn't because there aren't any feral, homeless, or unspayed/neutered cats in the community, but rather because;

1. They make more money on owned cats. Typically TNR cats receive only a rabies vaccine, their sterilization surgery and ear tip. At my practice a TNR spay is about $80, a neuter about $40. The average client with a kitten will spend upwards of $400 at my clinic. The vets time is more lucratively served on clients.
2.  They don't want the hassle of feral cats. Big clunky cages strewn about the clinic, smelly cages (really BAD smelling cages), and the loss surgery time for others who can pay full price.
3. There is never an end to these cats. The feral cat well never runs dry. I can say that for as much as the finances don't discourage me the never ending flood of unwanted cats feels like swimming in an ocean without a horizon.
4. These cats are feral. They are afraid. I am sure there are some vets who would use this as a reason to avoid handling them. With practice and the right drug protocol I have never had a case or a cat I couldn't handle. 
5. Disease. I cannot get around the argument that a feral cat isn't a possible source for disease transmission. I can however argue that this is the nature of our business. There is an equal likelihood in my neck of the woods that the "owned" house cat has been, or can be, exposed to the same disease. I cannot chose to not help them.
6. The excuse that "there are places for these cats elsewhere" is a cheap excuse to turn your back on the members of our community we are supposed to be helping. An 'owned cat' should be treated as respectfully and professionally as an "unowned cat."

A very hungry orphan

These TNR cats are the off spring of cats who were;

• allowed to go outside and got lost.
• never spayed or neutered.
• put outside because they were house soiling
• put outside because they were not loved
• dumped by someone who couldn't/wouldn't care for them
• They are the consequence of a species we lack respect for.

Cats are magnificent creatures who are far more intelligent than we give them credit for.

Neutering one of our 2016 kittens

Here's the ethical dilemmas with TNR's. I don't know whether the cat I am sedating through a little wire square is healthy? Or if it is a male or a female? If she is a female I don't know if she is pregnant? If she is pregnant, how pregnant is she? What about if they are REALLY REALLY pregnant? Who wants to live with being an abortion vet? It certainly is NOT what I went to vet school for.. We use an injectable sedative that needs to be placed in the muscle. This sedative allows them to be handled. It also slows the heart rate, temperature, and blood flow. For unborn kittens this, and the general anesthesia needed to maintain adequate anesthesia, will often make trying to revive them impossible. Also, kittens who are removed from their mom before they are ready to be born have a low survival rate.

If the mom is feral (as all of these are) the kittens need to be hand raised. This requires feeding them every two hours. Making sure they stay warm, fed and cared for. It is a full time job that requires experience, fortitude and self preservation when they die at 2 am after a day (or days) of endless worry. To be dedicated and compassionate enough to provide this degree of intensive care and then have them die is.. well,, breaking. It can break you. If you aren't very careful, and somehow manage to volunteer for the next litter you learn to allocate yourself in more manageable amounts. I have tried on more than one occasion to save the late term kittens. I won't do it again. They die within hours or days, and they are so labor intensive it is heartbreaking on too many levels.

This is the uterus of a feral pregnant cat.
These babies are about a month old,, far too young to be viable

I know of many practitioners who are afraid to post to social media. They only allow chummy photos of happy kittens and puppies. I feel very strongly that honesty and transparency are paramount to building and maintaining integrity. I also feel very passionately and deeply about animals. I am a veterinarian so I do need to narrow that a bit to "pets". I am also trying, yes, still trying, to find that end of unwanted pets. To save enough lives along the way that it might actually make a difference.

Do I think about a backlash after I post a pregnant cat spay photo? Of course. I live in in the USA, abortion is under fire, and the collateral damage is possible.

If I wanted to live in the land of happy puppies and fluffy kittens I wouldn't be a vet. I would be a kindergarten teacher. I would blissfully obliviously portray the life I am paid to emulate. The real-life of a vet is unwanted pets. If you aren't happy about it do something. Join me for a TNR, adopt a shelter pet, or donate to one of the many rescues who take care of other humans neglect.

One of our JVC kittens is tested for FeLV/FIV 

You can spend your life tip-toeing around life and all of the sticky spots it provides you. I am too old and have too much left to do to waste anymore time living in life among the minefield.

The surgery table.
One cat is prepped for a spay, the other is being microchipped.

Being a veterinarian is part making people happy, part being true to a calling, and part trying to navigate through unchartered and unchapperoned shit storms. If it was easy we wouldn't be the lucky recipients of the "profession with the highest suicide rate." Do you think that we don't get asked to provide the ugly side of pets being property, disposable, and replacable daily? We do. It is why we are so sheltered, Why many of us are not your personal friends. Why our clients don't have our personal information and why we become the stoic, reserved, distant women of the profession.

The local Humane Society,, where they have more than enough cats to go around already

What do you do with the reality that most cats in my rural area are never going to be treated as a 'companion'? How do I turn away a basket of sick, dying kittens that some well intentioned kid found? If you think I can send them to the shelter, I need to inform you that in many places the shelter doesn't accept cats. In others I am sending the kittens to an overcrowded understaffed s-h-e-l-t-e-r. Where disease is more prevalent, more widespread, and the kittens are not likely to get the intensive care they need. I do not send kittens or sick, injured pets to the shelter. I do not shirk a responsibility I know I can manage better than they can.

Is leaving kittens outside to fend for themselves safe? NO! Absolutely not. They are little tiny meowing morsels. They cannot escape, defend themselves or feed themselves. So I am left having to decide what I can do to help these cats whom I feel equally devoted to. They have survived within the life we cast them away too. The babies we are asked to help get care beyond what the shelters can do. It has been a labor of building a network of people who know we will provide everything they need regardless of the bill and the owner being unknown and unwilling to step up. If you believe you can make a difference you must try. 

The kittens I found in a tire on the side of a deserted road.
They had been dumped there,,
If you are a vet you can have a hard time not hating people

The vet practice I am responsible for is doing whatever we can wherever we can, even if it isn't without sacrifice and hard decisions.

If I turn my back on them, and dismiss them as "someone else's problem, BOTH my conscious and my community cats pay.

If I turn my back on the reality of posting what is really happening in our back yards, I am as complicit as the pet parent who gave up on their cat. The vet down the street who is only worthy of paying customers, and society who refuses to embraces cats with the same degree of genuine love that the dog has earned.

If I turn my back on who I went to vet school to become I have no legacy to leave behind that I am proud of.

Two of the TNR cats we adopted out in 2016 proudly display their ear tips.

Does every pregnant cat break my heart, YES! Almost as much as every sick, debilitated, broken spirited, beaten up, hungry, scared cat does.. There is no end to the ethical dilemmas I face every day, I'm just not going to bury or ignore them.

Here is more about our dedication to cats;

TNR's are not charged an examination. For clients interested in our feline services here are our prices;

Rabies vaccine is $16, spay is $100, neuter $60. FeLV/FIV $45 Microchips are $25

Our routine kitten vaccination protocol;

• We usually see kittens at 8-12 weeks. First visit includes FVRCP + Leuk vaccine, part 1 of 2 done 3 weeks apart. Fecal exam for intestinal parasites, $30, deworming about $15, microchip $25, Feline leukemia & FIV test $45, first dose of flea preventative $10. Cost of first cat visit is about $175.
• Last kitten visit at 16 weeks, finish FVRCP + Leuk vaccine, 1 yr rabies vaccine, pre-op spay/neuter bloodwork ($50), about $150.
• Feline Neuter $60
• Feline Spay $100

Here is our complete Price Guide for 2017

If you would like to follow our Facebook page you can learn more about us. If you have a pet question you can ask it for free at Pawbly.com. You can also find interesting pet facts, cases and stories at my YouTube channel and @FreePetAdvice.