Wednesday, December 2, 2015

In the cross hairs.


I got accused of many things today. None of them good.

The label of someone else's accusations and the dismay of being shunned, skinned, and blackmailed due to lack of,,, well,,, I still don't know the answer to that.

You see, I spent a few hours with an angry attorney with an agenda to ruin me. Never good.

I was accused of being 'judgmental'.  My blog is judgmental? My thoughts, my struggles, my desire to help a pet at the expense of a human's desires for it. That is judgmental? If so, I wear it with pride and the conviction that every living thing has a desire to live and a list of basic needs. These include love and compassion. Our greatest gifts and our biggest challenges... And, to remind the angry masses it is accurately, intentionally entitled, "Diary of a Real-Life Vet."

To tell me that my feelings, my fights, my plights, my quest for helping those under served and at the mercy of every other living being is 'judgmental'. It was a blow that I took with reflection, consideration and acceptance. There is no other way for me. There is no other human being I can be. I can choose to live a life others define as right, and normal and abandon who I believe is right for me to be. Or, I can take a criticism from a lawyer who threatened to sue me because "it wouldn't cost her anything and it would be so easy" . Or, I can choose the easy path. The path everyone else thinks I should take. Care a little less, invest a little less, and be a little safer.

Seems to me that this road is always at the expense of someone else, or someone else's pet. I can be different. I can be alone. I can be judged and accused and threatened and sued. And, again I can be OK with who I am. I simply have to be.

There is no other person who will do more, be more, and risk more. I must be this person. I must love a pet, their person, and I must try to be a little stronger, a little more helpful, and yes, in the process stick my neck out a little further. It has caused endless heated discussion in my home. My husband believes it is stupid that I care, that I extend myself so blindly, so willingly, and never with compensation for my time or attention. That was the worst of this nightmare. That he should be ashamed of me, my actions, and my vulnerability. And, to compound the pain and dismay, that I would need him to bail me out of this predicament.

If you ask me for help I will help. If you tell me that your pet is yours to decide and you decide wrong, well, than I suppose that you can call me judgmental. It is an opinion. You are entitled to yours. Wrong as I believe that it might be for your pet.

And so today, like so many other hard days I stood for what I believe in, for being a student of learning, and an advocate for kindness, compassion, and fortitude.

And so again, I will be tested, and I am OK with it, I have to be OK with it. There is no other way I can walk away with any self respect. With every challenge and every road block and every self proclaimed asshole I meet along  the way who threatens me. If you believe in something you stand by it. Through obstacles, pain, threats and hardship.

So, I am left standing a little bowed, broken a little bit, and weary of facing the firing squad.

To the lawyer with the threats, the hatred only you seem to be able to justify, guilt, blame, and poor life choices I say "To err is human, to forgive, is divine, and to enable is futile."



To the shadow who shouldn't have a pet because they become unhinged when they die of natural causes I say, "I am sorry. You fight demons I cannot see in a world I do not share."

I head to court tomorrow to face a demon with two heads, in a world of slander, games, and deception. We will let the courts decide. The emotional burden may just cost me my professional life, but it won't cost me my purpose, my voice, or my pen.

Post Script; I understand that there is a line between my personal life, the life I post on social media, the challenges faced in practice, and the vulnerability I allow by posting such personal stories. I am currently living having to look over my back with protective orders, court appearances, lawyers at every step I take and still I have to try to live,, without fear, regret, and silence. I have sat on this blog for months. There are others to follow. Lists of advice on how to face a legal suit, how to keep yourself from drowning in threats, blackmail, and how the world of law is the antithesis of medicine. These blogs are personal, the content is real, and I fear that my personal safety is in danger. I just won't sit silently in fear any longer.

If you are afraid find me. You aren't alone. I am here.

12 comments:

  1. Dear Dr. K,
    I am sorry for what you're going through, but you have the courage of your convictions & that counts for a lot in life.
    You have many, many more Admirers than those few fools
    Stand firm Doc, because YOU aren't alone; WE are here.

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    1. Thank you for making me feel as if I am not alone and that yes, there are lots of amazing people to make up for the abusive ones. I appreciate that you took the time to leave me this note. My best to you too.

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  2. I've only met you once, but I knew you were the best! I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but you'll come out ahead, because you are YOU! Best of luck.

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    1. Thank you Susan,
      Truly. Thank you.
      Sincerely,
      krista

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  3. You are not alone and I will always be available for help if you need it.....a voice, a shadow of your positive side to hear your thoughts. Negative people are all around us looking for a way to justify themselves and to take the easy way out, either to blame someone else or to just do nothing. Be positive and stick to your thoughts of what is right for you and who you are. For what matters most is how you see yourself. I, as you and many others, we see ourselves not as superior to animals but as Henry Benson said......."For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with the extension of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear." You are gifted because you do hear their voices and you are the person you are because of that. Don't change or give up because their voices need to be heard.

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    1. Hello,
      I, as always, appreciate your compassion and friendship. I am grateful beyond words to know you. This will pass, other trials will undoubtedly arise, and still through it all I will have my friends, their family (2 and 4 legged alike) to care for, and a sense of purpose that supersedes all the stumbling points along the way. I am lucky to have true friends, integrity, and a voice. I will not abandon those who entrust their pets care to me, their friendship, and my hope to make the world better for both. I will also not be tortured, tormented, and threatened quietly.
      Thank you for always being there, for always being someone I can trust, and for being so kind to animals.
      Sincerely,
      Krista

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  4. Last time I looked; it's not illegal to be judgmental or to have an opinion that differs than others. The world is full of people who don't want their feelings hurt and believe it's up to everyone around them to coddle them and keep them from pain. That's not how life works. Your personal and professional life is yours to live how you want unless you are physically hurting others. That's the freedom we have in America. It sounds like you came against a petty, confused and angry human being. If you always try to do what you think is right then you never have to second guess yourself. Stand up for what you think is right. Many people can differ on opinions and still live harmoniously. If a person can't do that then that says a lot about that person.

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    1. Thank you for reading and for taking the time to send a note of encouragement.
      Sincerely,
      Krista

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  5. Yeah, like you're the problem Krista. Hang in there and if there's a way we can help, let us know.

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    1. Thank you dear friend.. Getting a little stressful and cray-cray here. Hard for me to believe that there are such sad desperate people around. Will sit over a beer (or two) soon. Need you guys, and so happy to have you near by for the bad days. XOXO

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  6. Being judgmental is wielded as an insult, when it is "Lack of Judgement" that should be condemned.
    Last Holiday Season was marred for me by a client who behaved very badly. As her husband turned out to be a big shot litigation lawyer, my idea of duking it out in small claims court quickly fizzled and I had my back to the wall and held to ransom. I forked over several thousand dollars to stay out of a Superior Court battle. He had minions filing papers all over the place and I do not believe in fair outcomes in the legal system.
    So sorry you're facing this.

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  7. Krista, sorry to hear what you are going through. My wife & I, both vets also, have been through many similar issues in the last two years. I would wish it on no one else. I have not followed your blog for long, but I can see you are an honest and loving vet. Don't change who you are. Be honest and uncompromising. Our patients need it even if their owners don't appreciate it.

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